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How Little?

 
 
Treya
 
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2006 08:14 pm
I made it to Kalamazoo. I had a lot of time to think on the way here. It's funny how separating yourself from being in the midst of a situation can totally change your perspective. I just wanted to share something real quick.

How little time do we have in this life to really live? Life is so short. You know I see something through this. We really should live every moment as if it could be our last. It's so easy to say that I think. To intend to do it. But it's so vital. To love with all we've got to give. To sing when we are happy. To cry when we are sad. To be there for someone who needs us. To make memories with those who are close to us. Life is short. Too short sometimes. I will be to my fathers house tomorrow morning. I think that instead of going with this heavy heart of anger because I'm losing him that I realize this could be my last time with him.

Really it could. Death is part of life. Letting go is part of life. I want to enjoy this time with him. I want to make sure he knows just how much I love him. Just how thankful for him I am. I want to tell him all these things I've held back for so many years. All these things that I could have possibly never had the chance to say if he would have been taken by death without my having had the chance. I realize just how grateful I am for this opportunity. Just how grateful I am for everyone in my life. How short life is. How foolish it is to hold back from telling someone how much you love them and how thankful for them you are.

Life is short. Really it is. I think I want to learn to be thankful for what I've got rather than missing out on life because of what I've lost.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 848 • Replies: 16
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Tico
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2006 09:14 pm
Go. Tell him. And may you both find peace.
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2006 09:18 pm
I wish I had done what you are doing before my mother passed away. Do it...do it....do it.

We should live life as if it will end tomorrow and prepare as if it will never end.

Peace be with you.
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2006 03:27 am
Re: How Little?
hephzibah wrote:
Life is short. Really it is. I think I want to learn to be thankful for what I've got rather than missing out on life because of what I've lost.


well there you go, sometimes life kicks us in the teeth but usually for a reason, he may have died with you never knowing him, at least you got some time to spend, and in the end after the hurting is over, you you can go on with life with the view to what you can find, rather than worrying about what you have lost
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Treya
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 09:56 pm
My time is almost up here. It went by so fast. I am glad I came. It seems that things are a little more serious than he was letting on. Only 40 of 100 patients with his kind of cancer make it two years with chemo. I guess it's a pretty fast moving. I'm not sure where I'm going to end up just yet. I might be leaving FL to move closer to here. My best friend in MI has offered me a place to stay. My brother has offered me the same. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm not going to just jump because I'm scared or feel pressured. I would really like to be closer to him right now. To be close enough to come visit more often. To come help out when things start getting bad. So I've got a few decisions to make here. But either way, this isn't going to be my last visit. I'll find a way some how to come back, even if I stay in FL. I was able to tell him everything I wanted to tell him. He's such a good man. I am so glad I've had these last few years to get to know him. To have him in my life.
0 Replies
 
talk72000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Sep, 2006 11:47 pm
If you have video recorder it would help to tape something. it could help you have some peace of mind. Being with loved ones soothes the soul.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 12:08 am
I suppose I'll have to be the evil bitch here, and I'm probably adding this to the wrong thread. (Which other would I choose?)

Hephzibah, I am surely sorry about your father's problem.

I'm pretty sorry about yours.

I notice you never look around to see about anyone else here.
Have you ever commented on anyone else's problem?

I see you posting thoughtfully all the time about your thoughts.

Do you think you are talking to a blanket?

This is a community. Many of us are fond of you, including me.

Do you know who any of us are? or our problems?

I think you might be the single most solipsistic poster in months, my point of view.

I know that sounds snappy. But I wish to snap you out of it. Open your eyes. You are surely an interesting woman, but you don't live alone on the moon. Have you ever checked out any one else's thread?

This not relative to Heph's dad's problems, and as I post, I realize it it tacky, and will be sorry in the morning.



I'm just over the me-ness.
0 Replies
 
timberlandko
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 01:27 am
Just hadda yank the cork on that second bottle, didjya osso? :wink:
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 09:03 am
You're right, Timber. I apologize, Heph.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 09:31 am
This time i dont mean to be a bitch but sometimes people just have to deal with their own emotions other than having to take on others problems.
If we did more to help ourselves I think problems would be solved sooner.
Sure other people have problems but it doesnt make ours any less important.
0 Replies
 
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 12:01 pm
saying good by is the hardest thing someone can do. Wither its saying good bye because they are dying or because you have to leave.

I have been in iraq since feburary. I have had to do things that put me in harms way. I have carried a letter with me that was to be mailed off incase of anything happening. it was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. Not becuase i couldnt find the words, but becuase I knew those who would end up reading it would find it so very hard to read. but what i tried to get across in my letter was that i lived my life the way I wanted to live it. i made mistakes because my life was lived the way i thought it should be. if you live life worrying about tomorrow never coming then you dont live life the way it was intended to be.

life is a hard thing to figure out. i have in no way figured it not, nor do i think i ever will. it is a beast that changes daily, because you change daily. its a ride, a ride i plan on enjoying for a long time.
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 07:37 pm
ossobuco wrote:
I suppose I'll have to be the evil bitch here, and I'm probably adding this to the wrong thread. (Which other would I choose?)

Hephzibah, I am surely sorry about your father's problem.

I'm pretty sorry about yours.


Thanks.

ossobuco wrote:
I notice you never look around to see about anyone else here.
Have you ever commented on anyone else's problem?


I'm sure it seems like that osso. I know I have gone through quite a stint of being primarily focused on my own problems. Just because I don't comment doesn't mean I don't read them osso. Sometimes I just feel like an intruder into your world.

ossobuco wrote:
I see you posting thoughtfully all the time about your thoughts.

Do you think you are talking to a blanket?


I'm not sure I understand what you meant by this, to be honest.

ossobuco wrote:
This is a community. Many of us are fond of you, including me.

Do you know who any of us are? or our problems?


I wish I did osso, but again I often feel like I'm intruding into your world. Not your's personally, but everyone as a whole. You all seem to know each other so well.

ossobuco wrote:
I think you might be the single most solipsistic poster in months, my point of view.

I know that sounds snappy. But I wish to snap you out of it. Open your eyes. You are surely an interesting woman, but you don't live alone on the moon. Have you ever checked out any one else's thread?

This not relative to Heph's dad's problems, and as I post, I realize it it tacky, and will be sorry in the morning.



I'm just over the me-ness.


I do check out other threads. In other forums. I spend most of my time in S&R though because that is where I am most comfortable. It's somewhat predictable because I'm familiar with most of the people that post there. I don't mean to seem so distant and uncaring. Honest I don't. I do read about other peoples things quite often actually. I just don't comment is all. Mostly because I don't feel I have the place to.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Sep, 2006 07:48 pm
I understand that, heph.

But it wouldn't be that difficult to just type a "Hang in there" or "Saying a prayer for you"...would it? You're not intruding in "our" world. This is your world, too. Come on in.
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 28 Sep, 2006 11:29 am
Thanks eva. You are right. It wouldn't be that difficult.
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Oct, 2006 12:36 am
Seed wrote:
saying good by is the hardest thing someone can do. Wither its saying good bye because they are dying or because you have to leave.

I have been in iraq since feburary. I have had to do things that put me in harms way. I have carried a letter with me that was to be mailed off incase of anything happening. it was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. Not becuase i couldnt find the words, but becuase I knew those who would end up reading it would find it so very hard to read. but what i tried to get across in my letter was that i lived my life the way I wanted to live it. i made mistakes because my life was lived the way i thought it should be. if you live life worrying about tomorrow never coming then you dont live life the way it was intended to be.

life is a hard thing to figure out. i have in no way figured it not, nor do i think i ever will. it is a beast that changes daily, because you change daily. its a ride, a ride i plan on enjoying for a long time.


Thanks for this seed. It was very encouraging.
0 Replies
 
Bohne
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Oct, 2006 02:13 am
hephzibah wrote:
Only 40 of 100 patients with his kind of cancer make it two years with chemo.


Your dad can be one of the 40. Don't give up hope.
Or he might be the one miracle that happens every now and then!

I wish you all the best!
0 Replies
 
Treya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Oct, 2006 05:11 pm
Thanks Bohne. My father has remained pretty positive through this. I think that is going to make a big difference for him. He hasn't given up hope. Neither am I. Smile
0 Replies
 
 

 
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