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Tue 4 Jul, 2006 01:32 pm
You ever had an impulse like that? I was staring at an empty, over-stuffed chair in my living room a few minutes ago and, for some inexplicable reason, the thought of Aunt Bea's skeleton sitting there had a strange appeal to me.
I figured I can go dig her up (she should be decomposed by now, right?) and clean up the bones a little bit, reassemble the skeleton where parts became separated, and place it in a sitting position on my chair. I might toss one of those flowery floppy hats on her skull to liven up the picture a bit.
Then, when friends come over, and one of them might say, "Hey, Gus, what's with the skeleton in the chair?", I can simply reply, "Oh, those are the bones of Aunt Bea."
My friend will probably respond by saying "Cool. Hey! Let's go throw the frisbee around."
Moments later, if one were still in the Ratzenhofer house, one could gaze over the shoulder of Aunt Bea's bones and see Gustav and his friends throwing a frisbee as the capybaras graze contently in the background.
I'm gonna go get a shovel.
Life is just so simple in the swamp. I truly envy you.
I recall there was another soul wanted the elephant man's bones.
But what would Andy and Opie say?
Gus,
Aunt Bee was a formidable woman... I'm pretty sure you want to spell her name correctly to avoid her wrath, whilst desecrating her final resting place...
I don't think you want a piece of the ghost of Francis Bavier lodged where the sun don't shine.
Happy 4th of July
When Aunt Bee ("Francis Bavier) died there were like 100 cats or something in her house in Siler City and the place supposedly stunk all to ****. There was a big write up in the paper about it. Supposedly she was kind of snooty and curmudgeonly in her final years... not very Aunt Bee like at all.
So dig the old bitch up Gus, maybe it'll improve her diposition.
Yeah, I heard she was difficult to work with, and even apologized to Andy Griffith years later.
Sounds like she should've been called Aunt Beotch.
Thank you. I'll be here all week. Please tip your waitress.
LionTamerX wrote:Gus,
Aunt Bee was a formidable woman... I'm pretty sure you want to spell her name correctly to avoid her wrath, whilst desecrating her final resting place...
I don't think you want a piece of the ghost of Francis Bavier lodged where the sun don't shine.
Happy 4th of July
Sorry about the mistake with the spelling, LionTamer, but I can explain that: Orignally I considered putting Bea Arthur's bones on the chair....
But then I recalled that she was a gastropod, probably boneless, and quite possibly still alive.
I had Bea on the mind and remembered Aunt Bee, but completely forgot that she spelled her name in a different manner.
Imagine my horror and shame when I saw your post.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Orignally I considered putting Bea Arthur's bones on the chair.....
Gus, I don't know if this will spoil your plans, but Bea Arthur is still alive and amongst us.
She, Aunt Bea, was rather shrill and whiny. Come to think of it, the whole show was whiny-- I know there are people who think Barney Fife was the greatest, but he was the shrillest of all. The only part of the show I liked was the opening, with whistling and little Opie skipping down the path.
Oh, sorry Gus, I've ignored your needs here-- will Aunt Bea's bones go with your decor? Just a consideration.
Gala wrote:Oh, sorry Gus, I've ignored your needs here-- will Aunt Bea's bones go with your decor? Just a consideration.
Ah, but does Gus have a "decor"?
Quote:I know there are people who think Barney Fife was the greatest, but he was the shrillest of all.
I loved that Barney Fife!
Did you know that Don Knotts won an Emmy five years in a row for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series (for playing the role of Barney Fife)?
To this day, no one has beaten that record.........
just thought I'd throw that in.....
Thanks for sharing, Stray Cat.
Now..... take a hike.
****. I was just kidding, Stray Cat.
Come back! Come back, Stray Cat!
How was your book tour Gus? or was it a canoe trip?
I was in the slammer, GW. If I stood on my bunk and peered through the bars I could see a bed of hostas in the distance.
Nooo Waaay Gustav! - if they ever got a hold of you you would be in for a lot longer than 30 days.
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