Apartment Building etiquette.

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Australia is not especially apartment building prone, though numbers are increasing, so we are generally new to building etiquette.

I live in such a building, and there is an ongoing drama when, (as the building rules and common sense demand), one does not enthusiastically usher in, or at least ignore the entrance behind one of, strangers waiting outside to be let in by residents who scurry in with one when one lets oneself into said building.

Last night is a good example. I came scurrying in from the rain. I had noticed a well dressed man hanging around the car park entrance. When I opened the car park gate he came in with me. He then tried to come in with me when I opened the door to the building. I explained politely that residents had agreed NOT to let in people unknown to them, and he should wait to be let in by the person he was visiting. He then tried to follow me in anyway, and I physically blocked him, to his obvious amazement. I explained to him again why I was doing so, though I felt very embarrassed and rude. This was exacerbated because he happened to be Indian, and I was worried that he felt I was being racist (I wasn't....I do this consistently, though I always feel very awkward and beastly, and people react badly no matter how polite one is).

Does this get easier? Do people get less offended about not getting let in as apartment building etiquette becomes more established?

I noticed in New York that buildings often have notes and newspaper clippings about criminals let in by dumb people stuck up by residents to discourage people letting strangers in, and expressing great frustration that people continue to do so, so I am doubting that it DOES get easier!

Other apartment dwellers, what are your experiences?

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Oh! That makes me smile. I am like that too Dlowan: blocking persistent people trying to get in.

It's a little different now, in the building I am in. It is a smaller, older building with buzzers at each door. A guest presses the button of the appropriate apartment number from outside, it makes a buzzing sound in the apartment, and the person comes to let their friends in.
I've been here a while, so I know most of the faces. Regular residents I've let in, unknowns; no.

Last winter, there was a few incidents. Someone let in a man who (apparently) was homeless and he slept in our corridor. His mental state was questionable; as he was knocking on doors and then proceeded to sit on the floor mumbling. Our landlord is a woman in her early 30's, raises 3 kids alone, and frankly sucks at her job. She just doesn't have the energy or personality for it. Our guess is she refuses to leave, and most feel bad pushing her out, bc she gets free board in that position.
Anyways, she was no help with the homeless man who was scaring some folks, and showed up a few nights that winter. He had hit a spot and didn't want to give it up. People kept letting him in!
The other incident(s) had to do with kids coming in, pulling our fire alarm, so the entire building was cleared out in the middle of night: us all worried about a fire. And there are some folks here that don't speak English, amongst other things.

Sorry for the rant. lol. It has gotten easier for me, personally. I used to live in a very large, high security building. It was much more of a problem then - it was impossible to learn all the residents -so I quickly got past feeling 'rude'. Hey, they are being rude trying to get through after I politely decline, eh! I would offer to call up to their apt sometimes: trying to be nice. Eventually, I stopped caring.
Mind ya, I am not the most polished diplomatic personalities out there.

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What the hell? I can't beleive you guys are just getting into apertments. I grew up in these hellholes. After six monthes when you get tired of being the security gaurd you'll let freddy Kruger in and bum a cigeratte off him.

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Yeah, having buzzer systems and security gates alone is really giving a false sense of security.

A couple of weeks ago, a girlfriend of mine was visiting for the weekend...she's thinking of moving here, so we were casually looking around to see where she'd like to rent an apartment for the first year, while house hunting.

Funny, owning a house I hadn't paid that much attention to apartments in the last few years.

I noted that all the newer ones here had electronic security gates, that would only open for cars with the pass key, card, code whatever.

I asked my friend if that made her feel any safer (I know she lived in such a place when we first met)

She said - Oh no, if people want to get in, they'll figure out a way. It's not that hard. Also, the friends of residents that are let in by them could very well be a danger themselves.

Wow - I then remembered that a couple years ago a woman was shot in her security gate apartment by someone that was friends of another resident.

Well, that part can't be solved, unless you force a resident to keep their friends with them at all times Rolling Eyes

However, I see the best solution is having an actual human being manning the gate, security, a concierge, what have you. They can keep out strangers, and there would also be a record of who comes and goes.

Yes, this would be an added expense, but if one wanted security, one must pay.

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How on earth were you being racist!!!?

You did the right thig dlowan.Its not right that he was forcing himself in.

If he is innocently visiting someone in the building he has nothing to worry about and will get in that way.
Well done to you and dont feel embarrased,its your home.Would you let a stranger in your house just to not appear rude?!

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Amigo wrote:

What the hell? I can't beleive you guys are just getting into apertments. I grew up in these hellholes. After six monthes when you get tired of being the security gaurd you'll let freddy Kruger in and bum a cigeratte off him.

I have already been here six years, so nyah nyah to you!

material girl wrote:

How on earth were you being racist!!!?

You did the right thig dlowan.Its not right that he was forcing himself in.

If he is innocently visiting someone in the building he has nothing to worry about and will get in that way.
Well done to you and dont feel embarrased,its your home.Would you let a stranger in your house just to not appear rude?!

Never said it was a rational thing, it's just a comfort thimg.

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Amigo wrote:

What the hell? I can't beleive you guys are just getting into apertments. I grew up in these hellholes. After six monthes when you get tired of being the security gaurd you'll let freddy Kruger in and bum a cigeratte off him.

Hahahaha Amigo. I've lived in 4 different cities and about 10 different apartments. 5 of them were in NY. I agree that you get jaded after a while and stop caring. Your post made me smile.

Seriously though Dlowan you did the right thing and I think that it's good for people to be more vigilant. I tend to give sideways glances when I see some of the people who wait around my front door but I am made to feel safer by the fact that my building has door codes to get to the elevator and one for each floor. I wouldn't feel guilty or uncomfortable if I were you. I'm sure that the gentleman you stopped would also understand.

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If I were trying to gain access to an apartment building, I 'd carry my crutch and tug a large suitcase along.

The suitcase would be very useful for packing my loot.

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Hey guys...just stumbled across your topic. I live in an apt bldg near Boston (although not in it) and I get so aggravated with people who have no "bldg etiquette". Our bldg has exactly two parking spaces for every apt. Everyone knows this. When guests come over if they are here for a short period there is usually an empty space they can use. I am always cognizant of this - if I go out of town I park my car in the furthest away spots so that the people who are still home can have the good spots.

Well my town has a huge 4th of July parade with fireworks over the lake. So I come back to pick up my roommate and pull into the parking lot and not only are all of the spaces filled, people have made up extra spots. Now I understand it's a holiday and people probably have friends over but at 9 pm when I come home, I damn well expect that since I am paying rent that a spot is available for me. Luckily when I got back from the fireworks at 11 pm there was a spot but I got the last one. And I doubt that every other tenant was home already with their car.

That kind of stuff drives me nuts.

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Noddy24 wrote:

If I were trying to gain access to an apartment building, I 'd carry my crutch and tug a large suitcase along.

The suitcase would be very useful for packing my loot.

BTW Ted Bundy used similar techniques to nab his prey. He would put his arm in a cast or walk around a public area with crutches. He would hobble around trying to get his stuff into his car with his "injury". Inevitably some nice young girl would offer to help (as most of us would) and he would grab her, throw her in the car and eventually kill her. Guess it doesn't pay to help the "less fortunate" (read with a sarcastic tone) sometimes.

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I live in the same apartment building now since 78.It is situated in a busy street, a tram station right in front.
The rules here are:
the front door will be unlocked at 6 am and will be locked at 10 pm, in winter at 9:30 pm.
The door is always open, everybody can walk just right in.
The houses next to us have buzzers, but the owner doesn't want to install one. It would be nice to have though- at least our late guests could ring the bell and we could buzz them in. So they have to call and we have to walk down and unlock the door.
Different setting.

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We just installed a new intercom/buzzer system in our building along with five cameras covering the various entrances and back of the the building.
In recent years, as the intercom got harder and harder to hear and talk on, people would buzz in ANYONE who pushed a button. Now, although there have been some instances of non-residents getting in, it's far better.

The proper thing to do is exactly what dlowen did. (Although she put herself in danger doing it on her own.) Any resistance to our rules faded after a nice old fellow one street over let in a guy he didn't know and get himself killed in the elevator.

Joe(I'm on the co-op board)Nation

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Dlowan - that was blatant racism on your part! You should have let that poor innocent Indian man in and begged his forgiveness!

Okay, okay, so I'm just stirrin up shyt. A little bored, that's all...

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Apartment houses/flats are very common here ... and in other European countries. There might be some difficulties, sometimes, but I've never really heard of stories like told here.

Usually, you ring a bell at the main entrance, you use the intercom (in newer buildings with tv), the door is opened from the apartment/flat, you ring a bell again at that apartment.

I don't think, we've a lot of apartment buildings with guards (if any at all).

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Reminds me of the Senfield episode where Senfield did just that - would not let this guy in.

The next day he sees the guy walking to his apartment - the guy lived right next to him!

There was another etiquette one where they hung up pictures of all the residents to make it a friendly environment - Senfield refused along with hugging and kissing the other tenants.

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I liked that episode - Kramer was loving all the instant familiarity with all the tenants.....

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snood wrote:

Dlowan - that was blatant racism on your part! You should have let that poor innocent Indian man in and begged his forgiveness!

Okay, okay, so I'm just stirrin up shyt. A little bored, that's all...

I feel like I need to say, I was JOKING WITH THAT POST!!!

I got someone accusing me of pulling the race card on another thread, and I'm thinking its because of what I said here.....sheezus

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I once lived in an apartment complex that had an electronic gate at the street entrance. People would just park in the driveway so that residents had to stop behind the blocking vehicle, get out, swipe the card, then follow the blocker into the parking lot.

Stupidest security system ever devised....

Most security reminds me of this:

http://lathi.net/images/bad-security-tm.jpg

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meridas wrote:

Hey guys...just stumbled across your topic. I live in an apt bldg near Boston (although not in it) and I get so aggravated with people who have no "bldg etiquette". Our bldg has exactly two parking spaces for every apt. Everyone knows this. When guests come over if they are here for a short period there is usually an empty space they can use. I am always cognizant of this - if I go out of town I park my car in the furthest away spots so that the people who are still home can have the good spots.

Well my town has a huge 4th of July parade with fireworks over the lake. So I come back to pick up my roommate and pull into the parking lot and not only are all of the spaces filled, people have made up extra spots. Now I understand it's a holiday and people probably have friends over but at 9 pm when I come home, I damn well expect that since I am paying rent that a spot is available for me. Luckily when I got back from the fireworks at 11 pm there was a spot but I got the last one. And I doubt that every other tenant was home already with their car.

That kind of stuff drives me nuts.

Oy. I hear you.

Here, people park in all the visitors' slots with their second cars and all, leaving no visitor room.

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