My RANT of the day!

Okay, okay, I'm here to talk you down.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I know you have kids, so you probably don't have this option, but we NEVER answer the phone at home….NEVER. Anyone who's anybody to us knows this, and will say who they are on the answering machine, sometimes we'll pick up….most times do not.

One thing you must get completely straight in your head shivers, the big TRUTH #1.
The telephone in your home belongs to YOU, and you DO NOT have to answer it.

The telephone is a tool to communicate, you can use it, or not.

We have become like Pavlov's dogs, conditioned to respond by picking up the ringing phone and talking, even if it's the last thing you want to do.

Fortunately, you will be amazed at how quickly you can recondition yourself. Growing up, we had an extension to the business phone hooked up in our house, that way, my parents could come home for whatever reason and still take business calls.

We kids never even HEARD the phone when it rang. Sometimes someone would be over and they'd say "Aren't you going to answer the phone?"

"Huh? Oh, no, we don't answer that one." But if the house phone rang, we heard it.

Go on out to circuit city and buy an answering machine, and don't worry about answering the phone ever again. It's a really good feeling knowing you have become in charge of your own life.

BTW, I've had people say to me "I tried to call you, and got your machine, weren't you home?"….yeah, I was home…."But, you didn't answer"…..no, I didn't.

Is it rude not to answer your phone?

No.

Remember who pays the bill.

It is for similar reasons that I hate having a cell phone. I keep it on most of the day because I feel like I'm wasting my money if I don't, but I frankly don't like being accessible at every waking moment. Sure, cell phones have their uses, but they have their abuses too. It's a mild pet peeve of mine when people answer their cell phones while waiting on line at the supermarket or whatever--especially given the utterly inane conversations that usually ensue. As a teacher, it's a much bigger pet peeve when students' cell phones go off in class. And the biggest pet peeve of all is when I'm hanging out with someone and they interrupt our conversation to partake in an apparently more important one when his or her cell phone goes off. Argh... damn you, cell phone!

TY TY CHAI...TY





Its the truth though... and I feel as though by not answering the phone that I'm being rude...and should answer it. The yesterday and today..by not answering, I have felt like I've hurt people's feelings. LOL...THEY KNOW I'M HOME!!! LOL (I'm just going to tell them that I was out in the yard sunbathing naked..lol, that'll stir them up..)



I've gotten that one...lol, except its.."I tried to call your cell phone, but got your voice mail, what were you doing that you couldn't answer the phone?" (thats like a nunya...nun ya damned business!)

Or

"I've called your home phone all day, you didn't answer..whatcha been doing?" (deep sigh) " I was on the phone, I didn't answer when I heard you beep in, cause I didn't know who it was." (I might not want to talk to you..lol)

I think the problem that has disturbed me the most with this is the respect...etiquette behind it. Why call someone 5-6 times a day? And why would you let the phone ring 20 times? Its common knowledge that if someone doesn't pick the phone up within the first couple of rings, they may either be gone, or busy..take your pick?

Persistent lil boogers aren't they?

Uhhumm, I agree with you too.

Cell phones need to be banned from school..period. They know they can not talk on them during class, but it doesn't stop them from text-messaging. And personally, how many teens need a cell phone to begin with? Teens that drive? YES, but Teens that are riding a bus...NO. Leave the cells at home, or in a vehicle...period. (and yea..I understand its a status symbol)

And been there...friends that answer cell phones in the middle of lunch, or a conversation. I have even had one that put me on hold on the home phone...to answer her cell...and left me hanging. I hung up...lol Figured when she got ready to talk to me again, she'd call back. Which she did...with a "Sorry about that, I had to answer it, it was so n so". (rolls eyes) Its not like you couldn't call them back later...

And the one that really ERRKKS me to no end, is when a cell phone goes off during a funeral...or church, or a wedding. I have witnessed all three of them taking place.


Thats quite a bit of self-importance going on there....lol

Yes they are!

I have an answering machine and caller ID, so I can pretty much
decide who I want to speak to and who not, dto. with my cell phone.

I wish I could shut it off, but with a child in school, or out and running
around, I have no choice but being accessible.

It is not rude not to answer your phone, period. It's your psychic space they're entering, and in the case of the home phone, it's your property, your peace and quiet they are entering.

I do see that one feels a need to answer if one has a sickly parent or child who might need help... and I can also see that as a reason for 'call waiting'.
I often have a flash of being miffed when someone I am conversing with shuts me off for call waiting. I can sympathize with needing it sometimes.

I've had a answering machine for decades, great invention, especially when you work at home in something like writing or design, where you are apt to want quiet space, or, your own particular music as background while you think. You can always have the machine record on low and pick up if you feel like it.

Sorry, but I can't get my head around being upset that people call you. If you buy a phone, it WILL ring. Either turn off the ringer or use the answering machine or both. Problem solved!

What's next? Going to be complaining that the mailman delivers MAIL?

Amen, Sister.

Mr. Noddy has a large and complicated family. The ones with barren, sterile lives love to call to chat whether or not they have anything to say. My ideas of suitable conversation are very different from their ideas of conversation.

Further, I don't want to talk to these people--but they love to talk to me.

These people do not comprehend that just-to-chat calls interrupt my day.

"Whatcha doin'?"

I've taken to making a note of the time I picked up the receiver and giving the intruders three minutes or five minutes or fifteen minutes, depending on whether or not their need is real.

Some days it is very hard to be gracious.

I hate phones!

I resisted a cell phone for the longest time. Bear made me get one before going out of town to work earlier this year.

The thing is, every time it rings, it's Bear. He calls me CONSTANTLY! I just wanna scream "TELL ME WHNE YOU GET HOME!" But, a lot of times he's calling to say he's on his way home.

Do other spouses do that? Call to say they are on their way home when you already know when to expect them and they are running on time? Does your spouse call you at work to say "Hey. what are you doing?"

He even calls when he's only ten feet out of the driveway to tell me something that could easily wait. He says it's easier to call when he thinks of something cause he'll forget. I say, stop making me run to the friggin phone all day.

And, you just know it isn't gonna ring until you have your hands in the bowl mixing the meatloaf, or an armload of whites heading down the stairs for the laundry and trying to avoid the dogs on the stairs that won't move out of your way, or of course, just sitting down to pee.

Oh, excuse me. There's the phone...

OK

Lesson #2

You are not obligated to (a) tell someone why you did not answer the phone (b) lie as to why you did not answer the phone.

You mustn't feel that you are being rude that you do not answer your phone…REVIEW LESSON 1…THE PHONE BELONGS TO YOU, IT DOES NOT BELONG TO SOMEONE ELSE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANSWER IT.

OK, deep breaths, I know, it's hard to assimilate at first.

TRUTH #2: When someone else calls you on the telephone, they have no way of knowing if you are home or not. They cannot see through the phone wire. Really, they can't. If you have an answering machine, the phone will not have to ring 12 or 21 times. They have the choice to leave you a message.

TRUTH #3: There are several little buttons on your cell phone. One of them turns the phone to something called "silent"….there's another button the turns the phone to something called "off". When you use one of these buttons, the person will get your voice mail, where they can leave you a message, if they want.

Speaking of rude….You don't find it terribly rude of others asking you what you were doing that you couldn't come to the phone? I certainly do.

A year or 2 back, my boss got into this really strange habit, but not for long.
It would be quarter to 9pm during the week, or anytime during the day on the weekend, and she would call me. At first, hearing hear voice on the machine, I'd pick up. The first thing she said was ALWAYS the same. Never "hello", she would ask "What're you doing?" no prelude. Thinking about it, isn't that a really odd thing to ask someone when they answer the phone?
"Well….I'm, uh, um, I was in the kitchen and I was….uh, making some peanut butter crackers, wondering if it was worth the effort to open a new jar of jelly." Really, these are the kinds of things I'm doing when the phone rings. Not really something to share or anything. Actually, it's more like "Um, you know, I don't know what I was just doing." That's just how important my life is. Sometimes I wanted to say "I'm waiting to get off the phone so I can get back into bed with my husband."

So anyway, I'd usually say "nothing" and I'd get "well, why?"
It would go on like this for a few more seconds until I'd ask "Did you need me for anything?"
Then, she'd start talking about something that she was going to be doing in the morning, or ask me some question that there's no possible way I'd know the answer unless I was in the office.
This would go on for awhile, until I'd say "Can we talk about this tomorrow when we're both in the office?"

Sometimes, she'd call when I wasn't home, and my husband would listen to the message. The minute I'd get home, he'd say "She said to call her AS SOON AS you got in" Guess what, I'd call her and I'd get "What're you doing? Where were you?"

Finally, I just stopped picking up, stopped returning calls. When she asked me why I didn't return her calls or answer the phone, I just said. "I didn't feel like talking on the phone, and whatever you wanted we can talk about now."

They're the ones being rude shivers, not you.

HA! You bet...matter of fact, half the time when I get my mail, its already opened...that does kinda piss me off.

And..the last two days, I haven't answered the phone because of that.



Noddy...lol, my sister is one of these. The other day..I finally got rude with her. She called all in a huff over the tattoo situation..all I got out of my mouth was, "Hello". She went right into her spill...after about 10 seconds of it, I interupted her with.."You know, I hate to interupt you, but quite frankly, I don't give a **** about the tatoo at the moment, I have other things on my mind, like the fact that the storm knocked out my lights and I'm sitting in the dark!"

She hung up.

HAHAHAHAHA



Squinney...Yeaaaaaaa, twice a day, everyday. And the same thing as Bear..."Whatcha doing?"...."I'm on my way home."

Well....yea, lets give you a hug....lol




And ummm, he done this to me the other day too. I was watching him drive out of the driveway, then the phone rang. (rolls eyes) I didn't even say "Hello"...I said,"what do you want?"

LOL



Ohh yeah Chai...I do too.

And yes, sometimes honesty is the best policy. LOL My former boss would call me and ask the same thing..."Whatcha doing?" Everytime he called. One day, I told him..."Well, if you really want to know, I'm taking a big XXXX right now." ROTF...he never asked again...lol

#1. Buy an answering machine. They're cheap and easy to program. Lots of land-line phones come with them these days.
#2. Don't answer the phone unless you're expecting a call or if something is going on that you need to know about without delay. When my mother was sick, we answered the phone all the time. Now that she's fine, we don't unless we want to. If you have a child going on a trip, you also might want to answer the phone in case they're calling in, for example.
#3. Turn off your cel phone unless you want to answer it. The voice messaging system will kick in. Just make sure to check messages, perhaps once a day if your cel is called that often, once a week if it's not called too often (mine isn't). Again, if something current is going on that cannot wait, leave the cel phone on and check messages more frequently.
#4. Tell your main callers (the understanding ones, that is), that you get a lot of calls during dinner or late at night or early in the morning, so could they please contact you only during such and such hours. This does not work with everyone but hopefully someone who is a frequent caller will be okay with this and do as asked. My folks don't call after 9 PM or before 9 AM. They still call when we're eating but we eat at odd hours so that's understandable. This might cut down on some of the calling.
#5. The no-call list, I don't think you can get on it any more, but you should be able to tell some of the polls, solicitations for business, telemarketers and the like that you don't want to be bothered with these calls any more. This may or may not work but it never hurts to ask.
#6. When companies that you want to do business with ask how to best contact you, tell them through email. Get a throwaway email address, at Yahoo, Gmail or Hotmail, and direct all of their contact information there. You'll get some spam but you'll also cut down on some of the phone calls. We recently communicated with LL Bean strictly through email.

I have never bought an answering machine...we were never..or I should say, "I" was never home during the day, so I didn't worry about it. Now that I'm home, it seems that is all it does..RING...lol

I have a caller ID...my rule of thumb is, if your name is" blocked caller" or it shows "Unknown Name, Unknown Number"...your on the "Do not answer list". lol

I have signed up on the "Do not call list"..but does that thing really work? I still get them....and it annoys the hell out of me...

Main callers: That would me my mother, husband, and a couple of friends. Sometimes...I'll answer my sister...haha, not all the time. I've been complaining...to them.



I think what my problem is,...I am not used to being home. And not used to hearing it ring all day long. And...when I quit my job, I become the talk and pride of our lil town..lol (they need lives) And everybody and their brother has filled my ear with..."HE said, she said"..till I'm blue in the face. Its a done deal...let it go.

So..ya know, I can handle it...I really really can....

I am pms'ing..lol, and not used to it ringing off the hook...and have to have a bitch session...lmao

Aren't ya'll so lucky?

The a2k bitches are suggesting you get a boundary quick like a bunny.

Though - I admit I speak as a person with homicidal tendencies. They rise up every time I get one of the telepone-phony-in-a-sickeningly-pleasant-way interviews attempting to ask me what I am calling about. This? That? or, then, perhaps that? I think I have never answered one of those questions with a non-hostile tone of voice.

Maybe you should drop a hint to friends and aquaintances...

I think I have had two or three calls at home all week.
I also have a mobile which is set to mute, and people know that I rarely notice it ringing outside of work.
They send SMS, which I will usually read within a day!

My brother calls an awful lot since he gets free calls within the country.
(That's about once every other week)
The only thing bothering me about that is, I know his wife is usually in the background listening in and giving comments to everything.

Other than that, no, I don't have a phone problem.

Cute. I don't have a problem with the mailman delivering mail, but certainly one is entitled to be annoyed at the delivering of junk mail, even though it's his or her job? Maybe that's a better way to put it: what I don't like about cell phones is the "junk calls." "My car's got a flat... can you come pick me up?" That's cool. "You won't BELIEVE what I just bought at Macy's!" Not so cool.

Forgot an option....you CAN take the phone off the hook.



Osso - I'm not sure what kind of calls your talking about. Do you mean when YOU call someone and they ask you what you want?

Do you have "Ex-Directory" over there, Osso?

Here, if you ask to go "ex", Sales calls are virtually non existent, as your number does not appear on any public listing.

MARVELLOUS!

Solution: go out during the day.