What I Should Have Said...

Baby chicks come in pastels? Who knew....

I gave a landscaping estimate to woman who just built a 4,000 square foot "starter castle'', drove over in a $50,000 SUV and was wearing Jimmy Choo footwear when she asked me "Is that your best price? I was stunned and just sort of shook my head "yes".
If I had my sense I would have told her:"I qualify for the earned income tax credit, I have no health insurance and I buy my shoes at Payless - if you're in worse financial shape than me, I'll consider it".

Eva--

The French have a term that translates, "Staircase wit"--you think of the perfect rejoinder as you're leaving the party.

After due pondering:

"Your chickens have hatched. Now, can you count to three?"

"Staircase wit." I love it.

GreenWitch...you could've just stared at HER shoes, then YOUR shoes, then said, "Can't you afford it?"

Eva, I liked your first thought:



Yes! Your story really touched a nerve with me. I hate people who buy pets on a whim, then want to get rid of them the first minute they're inconvenient! It's completely insensitive and irresponsible.

I'm sorry I can't think of a story of my own at the moment. I'm just too mad at the lady in your story right now!!

I just would have asked her: "Did the flash of genius run out on you?"

I'm so lacking in wit that I usually can't even come up with a half-assed rejoinder here on friggin' A2K, and I have literally days to come up with something. That's why I tend to avoid the joke threads.

Well, Eva, I would have thought the woman was a complete moron, but I wouldn't have said! Boy, does this sort of treatment of animals make me mad! I think I would have offered to solve her "problem" for quite a bit of money - which I would then present to the RSPCA along with the unfortunate chickens. Honestly!

As for what to say to her: I think almost anything vaguely sensible would have been a complete waste of time. She obviously has nothing between her ears!

"I WAS thinking of charging more, but you look like you're going through a hard time at the moment, so I took pity."


Or......"Did you ask the sales assistant that, when you were buying those awful shoes?"

Re: What I Should Have Said...


"Why don't you keep them 'til they're fully grown, and then let them take over the henpecking of your husband while you have a short vacation."

Ellpus is gonna be good at this, I can just tell.

(Can't think of any examples now, but it's happened. Also mad at the chicken lady and the manalo lady. Grrr...)

What I want to know is why does she still have them if she bought them for her grandchildren. They didn't like them or maybe they don't live on a farm. What a nitwit. I think I would have said "If your grandkids couldn't keep them, what the hell did you buy them for???" and left it at that.

I usually have the same problem as you of not thinking of a rejoinder until too late, but one time I did...

I went to a clinic to have a lump on my toe checked out and the doctor was a complete idiot. He stood about 4 feet from it, just looking at it, refusing to touch it. Then he suggested all kinds of stupid things (steaming it, for example - yeah!, and maybe it was an ingrown hair -NOT) and when he was done, he said, Yeah, I guess I don't know what that is.

Pissed, I said, "Why do you bother getting dressed and coming to work? That's got to be the worst diagnosis I've ever heard."

Sure, it was mean, but it felt good. I wasted my time and the taxpayers money on that idiot and it felt good to get it off my chest.

Mame -- the idiot grandmother is raising her grandchildren...they live with her. Let's hope she doesn't tire of them as quickly as the chicks.

I hope you didn't pay for that office visit, btw. I would have demanded to see another doctor while I was there. (Um...what WAS wrong with your toe?)

Ah, thank you Eva... didn't realize they lived with her. Too bad for them.

I can't do anything about the doctor (except spread the word) because I'm Cdn and I don't pay him directly - if I did, I wouldn't have, you're right. And the lump on my toe has a very long double-barrelled name which I forget... nothing serious, it's been removed, thanks

What I Should Have Said...
I'm with msolga & stray cat. This makes me so mad that I cna't even begin to think of a comeback.

I simply would have said "Why did you buy them in the first place if you didn't intend on keeping them?"

Put her on the spot.

She'd get your drift.

There was an absolutely classic Abuzz thread about this...I wonder if anyone saved it?

This man that totally annoyed me everytime he stepped foot in the cafe would repeatedly ask me..on a dialy basis.."Hun..are you the cook?" After many looks being shot his way, I told him.."No, This red apron I'm wearing is my cape, and I'm a magician, watch me disapear!"

Another one thought he was being the "Big Man"..with is Big Man voice..would holler.."HEY" at me every morning, to take his order, all the while, I was busy. (We don't have waitresses, there's a big sign that reads.."PLACE YOUR ORDER HERE") He would annoy everyone in the cafe, this went on for months. I had gotten to the point, I was ignoring him..till the one morning he caught me in a foul mood. He hollered, "HEY"..."HEY"...thats when I turned and replied to him.."Mr.X..HAY is for horses, cows and mules, of which I do not believe I resemble any of them. Now..Mr.X..if you'd like to place an order, I'd be more than proud to take it, but you are not going to scream "HEY" at me...everytime you want something." To say the least, he was pissed. Everyone else thought it was funny. He left in a huff, to return two days later and ever since, he walks straight in, goes to the sign that reads.."PLACE YOUR ORDER HERE" and places his order...and hasn't hollered since.

I had another one ....he come in a noon one day, demanded breakfast.
(Which was the norm for him) At that point in the day, you can not cook eggs on a griddle that has had mushrooms, cheese..garlic etc, cooked on it. He was ugly about it, kept insisting that I cook him breakfast. (it was at my own disgression) I just smiled and told him that, "breakfast ended at ten". He then preceeded to get louder about it..saying.."This would be a good place to have a cafe!"..and.."What? Am I sopposed to drive to the Waffle house to get an egg?" My reply to him was.."Yep, 13 miles south...on the right..have a good day." He chose the "Special". lol

And...lol, another man..everytime he shows up, he'd order the same thing. 2 eggs..NOT STACKED, bacon, biscuit. He didn't want his eggs to touch, not even lie close together side by side. He'd repeat that like I was to stupid to understand plain english, much less define the words he was speaking. Sooo...I cooked his food, and put one egg on one plate, and one egg on another..lol It was a good laugh, he's since stop repeating himself.

And one last one...lol, even though I could tell loads of'em..lol I just love H.D to death...and he was pestering one day, older man, big flirt...thinks he's a stud. He ordered his breakfast after making a nasty comment about liking things "Raw". So..when I took him his breakfast, he was served raw eggs on a plate with uncooked bread, and raw bacon. The whole cafe cracked up...cause the look on his face was priceless. I told him.."I thought you liked it "Raw?""

It didn't take me long to figure out after I took over the management of the cafe that I was dealing with men that had lil respect for women if any? Matter of fact, I was dealing with men, that would by no means treat their wives that way, but it was ok to treat other women in a demeaning manner....(some of them, not all) But, because I wore an apron and cooked food for a living, some thought that I was underneath them...uneducated basically. But It annoyed me to no end...lets say that after about..umm 9 months, I had them lined out..lol Were all buddies now...lol It just took a sarcastic wit and some humor....and a helluva lot of patients....