Over the years Freeduck has become on of my favorite posters. We have shared special moments together and I really thought there was a possibility of us meeting in real life and perhaps sharing our lives together.
I called Freeduck about meeting her. She was reluctant at first, saying that she would be uncomfortable leaving her husband for a capybara farmer, but I reminded her of all we've been through and, really, shouldn't I have at least a chance?
She agreed to meet.
"What do you look like, Gus? Just so I know who to look for?"
"Freeduck, my dear, we have already agreed to meet in the woods behind your house. I will be the only one there. My looks aren't really important, are they?"
"Well, Gus, appearance does mean something after all. I prefer a fairly handsome man, one who has good hygiene, and nice muscle tone. Can you bring that to the plate?"
"Why certainly, Freeduck, that sound like me exactly."
That seemed to put her at ease and I was glad because in actuality I look like something that just crawled out of a grave. I figured maybe my wit and charm would be enough to circumvent my hideous countenance and win freeduck's heart.
I arrived at the designated spot and waited for freeduck. Soon she was there, waddling across the meadow, head turning to and fro, looking for me.
I was in the shadow of a large oak tree and when she was almost upon me I stepped from the shadows and said "Hello, sweetheart."
Her eyes widened in horror and I still can't believe what she did. I mean I, deep in my heart, don't think I look THAT bad. But, alas, freeduck, as many females before her, thought otherwise and took what they thought was the best option to escape such a situation....
I stood silently and watched her swing in the breeze. Then, I turned in walked away.
There's more than one duck in the world.
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