Smashing time in England

Three things break unexpectedly?

Yes.....once.

1974, Durex Gossamer (ribbed for satisfaction).

Must have been a faulty batch. Bloody lucky I had another packet.

Were your holidays good, LE?

Hi Francis, yes thanks. Brilliant!

At least I know now what's the next presents will be (might get a discount on the mugs).

I thought that this was a thread wherein "c" was approached and time travel became possible in England.

I'm confused now!

Didn't you state the very same thing in July 2052?

Wait . . . that seems to imply that you weren't confused before . . .

Ah! Well.....I have been in a state of near constant confusion for the next twenty three years. This explains a lot, methinks.

Well, maybe things will start to look up yesterday . . .

Hmmm, I wonder what this thread is about?

Re: Smashing time in England


Although I am a genuine Bavarian, it wasn't me who Steve spoke of. Just for the record, eh.

However Steve, I have an original Bavarian beer stein here, you want
it for a replacement? I'm sure it can hold a lot more beer than your old one.

Re: Smashing time in England


You are either premenstrual or cursed.

Or, if unlucky, both.


Here is help for one of the conditions:

http://www.morespells.com/break_hexcurse.htm


http://aibi.gospelcom.net/articles/curses.htm

http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/bookofshadows.htm


Purification Spell (To Break a Curse)
This is a "heavy-duty" purification spell.

On the night after the full moon and just before bed, light 13 candles, preferably white. Fill the tub up with hot water (as hot as you can stand to sit in). Add 1 cup sea salt, 1 tablespoon sage, 1 tablespoon lavender and 1 tablespoon chamomile. Turn off the water and let the bath steep in the herbs. Kneel or sit in front of the tub, in the nude, and repeat this incantation:

What was done was done
Be it now undone
By the light of the full moon's wane
Cleanse my soul of taint and stain
Let now my hurtful spell reverse
And lift from me this vicious curse
As I enter now this sacred space
Return my spirit to it's grace

Enter the bath and let the water cleanse away the effects of the curse. Use your hands to gather up the water and pour it 3 times of your head. Each time you do, repeat:

Accept my apologies for what was done
Disperse my spell with the morning's sun

Remain in the bath until the water cools. Drain the tub and rinse off. Snuff the candles and go to sleep. By dawn the curse will be broken and you will once again find that feeling of "blessedness" that you lost.

http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/spells/purification_spell.htm



Lemon Uncrossing Spell
(to break a curse)
In a sachet, combine the following herbs: St. John's Wort, sage, calamus and dragonsblood powder. Set the sachet aside for later. Fill an incense brazier with dragonsblood incense. On your altar, you will need an athame, a whole ripe lemon, 1 white and 1 black candle, a bowl of salt and a bowl of water. You will also need a glass or ceramic plate to set the lemon on when you are done. Do not use paper or wood.

Light the candles and the incense. Hold the lemon in both hands and visualize it magnetized and drawing the negative spell away from you. Dip your athame in the water then slice the lemon into three pieces. Set the athame aside and visualize the lemon drawing the negativity away from you and into the pulpy fruit. Repeat the following:

As sour as this lemon be
Charged and cut in pieces three
With salt and water I am free
Uncross me now, I will it be.

Let this lemon do it's task
It's cleansing power I do ask
As this lemon dries in air.
Free me from my dark despair.

Uncross! Uncross! I break his curse.
But let not my simple spell reverse.
I wish no ill, nor wish him pain
I wish only to be free again.

Take each lemon slice and dip it in the salt, making sure it is well coated. Set the slices back on the altar and say:

As it is my will, so mote it be!

Leave the lemon pieces on the altar where they can dry. Once dry the spell is complete and the lemon can be thrown away or buried. If however the fruit rots instead, you must repeat the spell. While waiting for the fruit to dry, keep the sachet with you at all times. It will help to protect you from the effects of the spells and turn away any negativity sent in your direction.


http://www.everythingunderthemoon.net/spells/uncrossing_spell.htm


Apparently you can change your eye colour, too.



There you go!

Oh, I love the Lemon Uncrossing Spell <taking notes>

Don't the misplaced apostrophes make you worry?


I wondered what an athame was.

Athame

Athame or athamé is what some practitioners of ritual magic call their ceremonial knives. In some traditions, the athame is a knife with a double edged blade and short (often black) handle; other traditions require that the blade be dull, curved, wavy, or a variety of other specifications.
The athame is usually used for ritual and magical purposes only, to direct energy; if something such as herbs or cord needs to be cut, another knife called a boline or white-handled knife is used. Exceptions include "kitchen witchcraft", which actively encourages the use of magical tools for mundane purposes to increase the witch's familiarity with it.

Now to look up dragon's blood herb!



Well, well. Who knew.


drag·on's blood (drăg'ənz)
n.
A red, resinous substance obtained from the fruit of a climbing palm (Daemonorops draco) of tropical Asia, formerly used in the manufacture of varnishes and lacquers.
Any of several resins similar to this substance.





Encyclopedia
dragon's blood, name for a red resin obtained from a number of different plants. It was held by early Greeks, Romans, and Arabs to have medicinal properties; Dioscorides and other early writers described it. A chief source was Dracaena cinnabari, a tree of the agave family. Voyagers to the Canary Islands in the 15th cent. obtained it from another species, D. draco. The resin, exuding beautiful garnet-colored drops when the tree is wounded, was well known as the source of varnish for 18th-century Italian violinmakers. Later, dragon's-blood varnishes and medicines were obtained chiefly from the immature fruits of a palm (Daemonorops draco) native to Malaya. Although still sometimes used in photoengraving processes, dragon's blood as a coloring material has largely been replaced by synthetics.

Dragon's blood is easy to get: Take anyone's mother-in-law and have her draw blood. It would have been worse to obtain Jungblut of a male virgin.

With the lemon and salt, where's the tequila?

Please ensure both the install/ and contrib/ directories are deleted

Steve perhaps you have a severe case of DROPSY

Re: Smashing time in England
Thats incredibly kind of you Calamity. And such an appropriate name for this thread. I'll pop over and get it. Today I have broken nothing. I am glaring very hard at a glass as I type, daring it with all my psychokinetic powers to do so something. Nothing. Still intact. So the rabbit in the bath technique with the candles and the incense must have worked. Thank you all who have cleansed me of this evil curse. And Deadpad...dropsy...unlikely but thanks for the suggestion. Regarding the resurrected Westphalen mug that Walter will never know was smashed to bits, I tried various incantations... gave up and used superglue. This morning I made some coffee poured it into my now even more precious mug and it pissed out all over the table cloth. Concluded there are still some bits missing.

Here's at least a virtual new one




Cautiously asking about the condition of a certain navy tankard ...