littlek and dagmaraka have a spider in their basement

It's a bit ironic that those two rascally Bostonians are dealing with an interloper because I am undergoing a similar situation.

I was tossing and turning last night, worrying about those two women and the fear that must be gripping their hearts, knowing that the spider could attack at any moment, when a noise emanated from my basement.

"Gus", I said to myself, "Might it be possible that there is a spider in your basement?"

I got out of bed, raced to the broom closet in the kitchen, procured a broom, all the while listening to the crashing in the basement.

I figured it must be a huge friggin spider to make that kind of noise.

Opening the door to the basement, I peered down the steps and saw an enormous shadow. Then... more banging and crashing.

I tiptoed down the steps, broom held in front in a defensive manner. I saw movement in the corner, behind the paint cans. Suddenly, the paint cans exploded and I was attacked....



The broom was useless. I held it out but the thing charged through it as if it didn't exist. I was slammed into the wall and the horn of the great beast tore a massive hole in my chest. I managed to extract myself from the horn as it picked me in the air and started shaking me like a rag doll.

Collapsing in the dust, I picked myself up just in time to avoid the next charge. Stumbling towards the stairs I managed to race to the tope of the steps and slam the door shut seconds before the beast, which I heard racing up the stairs, slammed his massive head into the door.

I can still hear the slow methodical banging of its head against the door as I type and, frankly, I am concerned that it will eventually shatter the wood and attack me with a renewed vigor.

I have vague recollection of placing that rhino down there a few years back, when it was a baby. Local hunters had killed its parents and, feeling sorry for the little creature, I took it home and placed in in a small cardboard box in the basement. I hung a single light bulb over the box, for heat, and placed some water and rhino food in the corner.

Then, unfortunately, I forgot about him. And now, perhaps because he carried a grudge for my abandoning him, he is intent on destroying me.

Life, sometimes, can be hell.