What Makes You Happy?

goals don't make me happy, that's for sure.

I'm not goal oriented, and I'm non competitive.

when I said simplicity before, I meant it.

I happy that I can ususally see the least complex way to do something.

right now, I'm not thinking at my optimum, but some things that eva and flushd have said sound like we are sisters underneath it all.

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sozobe wrote:

That's my everyday life!

Really! That's not how I'd pictured you at all.

You come across as super organized, extremely sensible. I figured you'd be the mom who clipped coupons, bought organic food, baked her own bread, stocked her refrigerator with healthy snacks, ate meals on time, cleaned up the kitchen promptly after every meal, and planned dinners a week in advance.

I apologize.

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A friend has borrowed my copy of Milan Kundera's Immortality so I can't quote exactly, but to paraphrase (badly) ....

The invention of the freeway altered mankind's view of life. The goal became getting from point A to point B in the most efficient manner. While travelling the freeway, you don't dare look at the wild flowers growing on the verge or the hawk hanging in the air above. You're travelling too fast to see them anyway, but if you did catch a glimpse it would be dangerous to look. But there's great freedom in taking the old dirt road to point B, freedom from efficiency and goals. Suddenly point B is simply the excuse for the journey, but joy is in the journey itself ....

Something like that.

I'm still searching for what makes me happy, but I do know that I'll find it on the road, not the highway.

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Eva wrote:

I don't think so, Deb. I think a lot of us feel compelled to do things. I freely admit being that way at times.

I understand what nimh and soz are saying, but there is a difference in my mind between making plans to enjoy myself and making goals to accomplish something "important" or "necessary."

Up 'til now in my life, it has been very important to me to have accomplishments. Career...check. Good marriage...check. Motherhood...check. Home ownership...check. Community involvement...check. Charitable work...check. The list goes on and on. Okay, so I've done that. So what's next? Do I just keep on trying to accomplish things, hoping to find meaning or joy along the way? Where does it end? When have I accomplished enough? And what do I do then?

Maybe these are questions that don't really resonate for younger adults. It wouldn't have seemed very important to me in my 30s. But in talking to others in their 50s and 60s, I'm finding many of us are now thinking along these lines.

Hmmm...I am beginning to wonder if I would be happier if MORE goal driven....

I don't think I have ever had goals like that..or mebbe much more nebulous ones...I think my life is more like that of a billiard ball's...

Hmmmm...

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flushd wrote:

Happy Birthday Reyn!!

Thanks for your greetings, flushd! Very Happy

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what makes me happy? A clean windshield, a shoeshine and powerful gasoline does it for me.

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dlowan wrote:

I don't think I have ever had goals like that..or mebbe much more nebulous ones...I think my life is more like that of a billiard ball's...

All lives are like that when looked at closely, I think.

But usually we keep bouncing around the table until we wind up in the pocket we think is right for us. Consciously or subconsciously, we keep moving toward the things we think we should have. With some of us, it's more willful...others less so.

What is interesting to me is reaching this point in my life where I can look back and see the overall pattern. Very enlightening. Also, very confusing...do I want to keep going in this direction?

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I am trying to understand you, Eva. You seem to have
always done the right thing, but only now you pause and reconsider, if these things you did (community, charity etc.)
are really what you've wanted or if it was just expected
of you.

Well my guess is that it was expected and you obliged,
otherwise you wouldn't question yourself if you should
continue with the same pattern, keep going into the same
direction. You should probably choose a different path,
something that brings you true pleasure and satisfaction.

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Oh no, CJ. I've always done what I've done because it was what I wanted. Always. Even when others advised me not to. I'm very stubborn that way. I've never followed anyone else's direction for my life, and it has mystified people close to me. I've taken my share of wrong turns and had to pay for my mistakes. But I am where I want to be.

I'm just not finding as much joy in some things as I used to, and sensing that the time has come for a change. The question is, What do I want now? I am trying to figure out/remember what it is that makes me happy.

Sorry...it's hard to communicate clearly when you're in the middle of sorting things out.

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Eva, yes, tai chi is very gentle and old people do it. So join us - Friday evenings, 7:00 to 8:00 Balingen time! :-)

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One more thing makes me very happy. My closest family - my parents and my sister. Well, and now my nephew, too. (funny word, nephew). My mom writes emails almost daily, my dad rarely, but when he does, they're worth it. He must be the funniest man alive, in his subtle way. My sister has always been my best friend, and my nephew is undoubtedly a genius. My mom, who is frighteningly always right, has been there for me and my sis in our toughest moments. She's always the one to go to and lean on. I was truly blessed, it's the greatest gift and that makes me happy whenever I stop to think about it.