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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 08:26 pm
What kind of freaking secret society is the AARP?
My business phone number is somehow very much like their local pharmacy number and I'm getting 100 calls every day.
I've recently started forwarding business phone calls to my cell phone because... well... because.
Half of the phone calls that come in are for the AARP pharmacy.
So... okay... I'm a fairly nice person so after reaching the end of my frustration rope today I thought I would find out what the right frikken phone number is for the AARP pharmacy in my area so I could refer people over to them.
I started on the internet. I looked and looked and I looked in the online phone directory.
Nothing.
So I got out the actuall inky papery phone directory.
Nothing.
Not under AARP or American Association of Retired Persons.
Nothing.
So now I'm thinking the AARP is some kind of Bilderberg Group, Skull and Bones, Opus Dei, secret society that is out to make me lose my mind.
(Plus, the whole sippy cup maker pay for my therapy thing didn't really work out too well.)
I now get phone calls on my home phone where it is girls asking "Is this "Mr. B" the guitar player <giggle>?".
Whoever that Mr. B is, he has quite a following.
Back in the olden days when I was a kid my parents had a business whose phone number was one digit off from Telecheck. They got so sick of Telecheck phone calls that they started giving approval codes just to goof with people.
I'm close to the point of following in my parent's footsteps and starting to goof on people (if I could come up with a clever ploy).
Have you had a phone number that was very similar to someone's or a popular business?
Kiss and tell!
Growing up there were two V___________ families in town. My father, John F. V_________ was a newspaper man. John E. V____________ was a druggist.
In the '40's there were no all night drugstores. When emergency medicine was needed, Mr. John E. V_________ would get out of bed to fill the prescription.
This happened once or twice a month. Unfortunately worried patients or the worried families of patients would call our house.
Start making up embarrassing ailments, and telling people on the phone about them. Use the name of the last person who called....
And then get a copy of "Shaniqua Don't Live Here No Mo'."
Moved into my apartment at the U-N-iversity.
The only one who lives here is me. So why's the phone ring all day
long. I got no friends expect Mike and he's gone for the summer.
And I just want some peace and quiet, come to my room and
it's a telephone riot. Ring-a-ling-a-ling,
Every time I take a step, can't eat, can't sleep, can't breath, can't demp.
Only get my work done, cuz people keep callin' with the same damn question.
(Hello, is Shaniqua there?)
Nah, Shaniqua moved out last year.
I think you have the wrong number, this is Little T.
(You mean Shaniqua's brother?)
Man, can't you just leave me alone,
this ain't shaniqua's house this ain't her phone.
and don't call back again, cuz if ya
do ya know the answer man.
[chorus]
Shaniqua don't live here no mo' [3x]
(Is Shaniqua there?) Hell no
Shaniqua don't live here no mo' [3x]
(Is Shaniqua there?) Hell no
I wonder who Shaniqua is. What she does and where she lives.
If she a pothead with too many zits. A movie star with
inflatable tits. Does she take the train, or drive in a car.
Work in the office, or down at the bar. How the hell should I
know she could be Albino for all I care.
(Hello, Is Shaniqua there?)
Yea she is, but she can't talk now.
She's busy milking are purple cow. and talking to the easter bunny.
(Man you think your funny)
Shut up, beavis! I told you six times befo'. Shaniqua don't live here no mo'
[chorus]
Check my machine on Friday, there
were 22 messages. Man I can't win at this. One said:
(this is for the kid livin' with Shaniqua, you want that trick you can keep her)
Will this ever seise, so I can get some sleep.
Shaniqua moved out leave ya message at the beep. (Beep)
(Yo)
(Shaniqua)
(I love you)
(Call me)
(Kiss Kiss)
[chorus until end]
Well, I have two unrelated things. My girlfriend's number is one off from my mother's assisted living facility. I would like a buck for every time I wanted to call my friend, and called my mom's place instead. In addition, it is a peculiar number......................the same number in succession.
My mother kept getting calls for some woman (who obviously had the number before she did) for at least five years, before they finally stopped.
When I was growing up, our home phone number was one digit off the rec hall at the local armory. We constantly got calls from soldiers, often drunk. My father began playing with them. He'd pretend to take messages he couldn't deliver. Or refer them to another number, usually the nearby police station. Sometimes if they asked to talk to "Joe," he'd say, "Joe? You mean the guy who says you're fulla sh!t?!" Oh, Dad had lotsa fun.
Now my number is one digit off a local hospital's main number. That's another good reason why we have an answering machine. I don't have as much time for games as Dad did.
The first day I hooked up my new phone in Albuquerque I got thirteen calls trying to send a FAX. Squeeeeeek.... squeeeeek..... squeeeeeek.
rrrrrinnnnng! Squeeeeeeeek... squeeeeek....
now it's down to about once a day.
My home number is apparently very close to a doctor's office number. People call for prescription renewal, post-surgical advice, etc...
It is comforting to know that I am not alone in the misdial universe.
Since I'm answering these calls anyway I really wouldn't mind giving out the right number but I can't seem to find the one they need.
Isn't it interesting that so many of these seem to be medical --
Mine = pharmacy
Noddy's = druggist
Eva's = hospital
FreeDuck's = doctor's office
I do now consider myself lucky that it isn't a fax trying to call. That is one obscene sound.
Like Phoenix, I've been guity of misdialing. Poor, poor Pocono Produce....
I posted too fast.
Since that post I've gotten three fax calls. Doesn't do any good to pick up the phone because you can't tell a person it's a wrong number... Squuuuuuueeeeeeeek!!
My number is apparently close to Cassandra's who has problem's with the tilt loan folks. We frequently have threatening messages on our machine that say something like "Cassandra we haven't heard from you. We wiil be contacting your family members if you don't make your payment by Friday."
I also have a very common name, so frequently get calls saying " Is this the Jane Jones that ...?" One night in the mifddle of the night the phone rang. The guy on the other end said ' Is this the Jack Jones that sells guns?" Umm, you need to buy a gun at 2 AM? Must be serious.
On LI, when I was growing up, we had a phone number 1 digit off from a local diner. My brother and I used to take reservations.
And currently, here in Mass., well, here's my tale of woe:
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=66849
I got a new cell number last summer and the number is the same as a local lawyer's office except for the area code. I get 2 or 3 calls a day from people asking for updates on their cases or or appointments.
I think I'm going to start scheduling appointments for them.
I always get calls for a notary public and for a local bed and breakfast.
I'm too nice, I have the number for the b and b memorized now so I can give it to people. I've actually called people back when they left messages for the notary or the b 'n' b, so that they wouldn't wait for a call back.
Whatta dork. It's like my little service to my fellow man.
When I first moved away from home, my mother used to call me every morning at 7 am, to make sure I'll wake up.
Yet she always misdialed the last digit and woke up some poor
guy. She of course apologized but the next morning she dialed
him again. Luckily the guy was nice enough and told
her that he needed to get up anyway.
Lo and behold, she tried to fix me up with that guy - probably
just to save a phone call later on
Why are we talking about phone numbers on the AARP thread? Anyway - when Dag moved in here and got her new cell phone number we had the exact same first 3 and last 4 digits to out cell numbers - bizzaro!
my last cell phone number apparently belonged to some mysterious Dee. I would get calls at 2, 3 in the morning in Portuguese, looking for Dee. Then I moved to Vienna and the number went to some guy. Now he gets calls for me, hee hee. I called a few times, too.
cypher, I'm a notary, so's Chai. Maybe route the calls here.
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