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Fri 17 Feb, 2006 10:06 pm
I've just been browsing around the forums for the last few days. Trying really hard to keep my mouth shut and stay out of trouble. I came across a thread tonight that got me thinking. It was the "Wake" thread that was created a year ago for cav. I read the first eight pages or so and I still can't believe the impact that had on me. To realize once again life is not permanent and sometimes you don't get the opportunity to say all the things you would like to say to someone like Thank you, I'm sorry, or goodbye.
I've been struggling a lot lately with personal things. It's had a big impact at times on what I post. But I think the thing I realized tonight that bothers me the most is that there have been so many here who have reached out to me to try and help and give me advice and more often than not I've listened almost unthankfully at times not fully appreciating that people could see I was hurting and were trying to help. Sometimes I've responded to things with really good intent and went back to read it later to realize that what I said actually sounded quite arrogant and unthankful. Please know that I've heard you, I'm just overwhelmed right now and sometimes it feels like the more information I get the more indecisive I become. What a mess...
So anyway I just wanted to say please know that I do appreciate each one of you and the advice you have given me. Please know that I am sorry if it seems I've disregarded your advice. I really haven't I'm just trying to process everything right now. I want to say I'm sorry again to the one's that have received the lash back from my anger. I never intended to hurt or disrespect anyone when I came here. I can see now though that I am not in a good frame of mind to be debating anything. Nor even really to be discussing much of anything either. I'm extremely volatile emotionally so I'm going take a break for awhile.
I've found a place to do some blogging and get everything out in a better environment. One in which it is just me posting my thoughts in my own little online journal. What a cool concept. Yeah, I know other people could read it, but that doesn't bother me so much. I just need a place to say how I really feel, what I really think, without risking hurting others in the process. It helps me to be able to see things in black and white, but I know A2K is not the place to do it. Thank you all so much for all your help. I do appreciate all of you more than you know. After reading that thread I realized I just didn't want to go without saying I'm sorry, thank you, and goodbye. Take care of yourselves. I'll be thinking of you.
hephzibah
I know you only a little, having crossed your path for the first time just recently. But I liked what I saw! Or read. So I just want to say good luck & thank you for the thoughtfulness of this thread. But, you know, you'll probably visit from time to time, anyway .... This tends to happen! :wink: I hope so, anyway.
All the best to you!
heph,
I'll miss your presence around here, but ya gotta do what cha gotta do for you. (wow, that sounds confusing!)
I hope everything works out and you feel better soon. Come back anytime....
ya' hear?!
Well, you do what you've got to do, hephzibah. I've enjoyed your presence.
Hephzibah,
Sometimes we all need a break. I got one while I didn't have my internet for a week and I think it did me some good. You can always come back. Nothing wrong with changing your mind.
But, I dont' think you have anything to be sorry for. I haven't seen anything you would need to apologize for. I can't speak for anyone other than myself but that's my take on it.
Hephzibah,
I don't know you very well, I've only been here a little while.
But, I wanted to wish you good luck in whatever you do.
You can always come back.
And you'll always have friends here.
Take care.
I have read your posts and never found you to be arrogant or unthankful, try not to be so hard on yourself. It is good to know that have you found a spot where you feel you can write out your thoughts and get the emotional release which you desire. Keep in mind that you can (if you so choose) post your deep inner thoughts, rants, raves, what-have-yous there and also post here..and in a similar vein...your choice what you want people to know or not know. This is an open an welcoming place and although I haven't had a major amount of interaction with you, I have found your posts to be of interest and feel you are both a vital and valid part of this community. Hopefully your leave will only be a temporary and short lived one and you will return. However it goes, I wish you only the best and thank you for having stopped off here for a while to touch us with your thoughts.
Last thing...there's no need to apologize for being who you are.
Hep- I have really enjoyed interacting with you. There is no reason why you can't have both........the blog and A2K. It is one thing to write things down, to enable you to look at what you have written, and quite another experience to get feedback from other people.
As others have said, "you have to do, what you have to do". Just remember, that you are one of us, and have found a place here for yourself on A2K!
Hephzibah--
Hold your dominion.
Hephzibah-
I agree with Sturgis. I've never found you arrogant or unpleasant in any way.
In fact, I would look forward to reading your posts. You seem like a very intelligent person. Yes, don't be so hard on yourself. Believe me, I think almost everone here as said stuff they thought better of later. We are all just humans.
I wish you would come around when you want. Like Phoenix said, you can have both.
You don't realize the important role you play here.....You are one of us, faults and all.
Don't go forever.
Hey 69 hours and 23 minutes aint so bad... :wink: I got a lot figured out in that time. LOL Besides... I lost money too on the whole deal... and I thought I could stay away for a week! Oh my!
Osso, thank you.
Home is a good place to be!
Momma, I'm writing that check right now... It was $50 right?
hephzibah,
I wondered where you had gone. Nice to see you back.
Thanks intrepid! It's good to see you too.
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