Stories from the "Ya-Ya Sisterhood".

Great MMS!!!
Looks like, you've had a carefree life down there in
Arkansas.

You know, I've been through Arkansas twice this summer. I really should have stopped in and tilted a few with MMS.

She sounds like a good ol' country girl.

MMS, very funny, laugh out loud funny. Anymore from you or CJ? I can't think of any right now.

Hahaha! Love it!

Thanks...I was pretty much carefree till I had kids...lol And most of the stories I can tell...end up being related to alcohol...lol

Gus...you should have stopped.....that would have been entertaining!

The same friend I mentioned above, Tat...Well, she's a stick of dynamite, real temperish...lol

Tat is all of 4'-11'', and about 130 pounds, small built...but as loud as a fog horn and as pissy as a skunk.

She's been going through a nasty divorce here lately, and the ya-ya's have been put through the mill in trying to defeat her purpose of destruction towards thy enemy.

It all started about 2 months ago, when the husband, who we'll refer to as Dingo, ranted he wasn't in love with her anymore and wanted his freedom!

Devastated, Tat called me and the ya-ya's were bound for an intervention.

We've watched her cry, raise hell, piss and moan...all the while pouring her a drink and patting her on the hand...and offering to string the dingo up. And the Queen of the ya-ya's told her to have dignity and keep it throughout.

Tat's held her dignity gracefully for a period of time, gracing the dingo with pleasantries and a friendship, inwhich dingo has told her the he doesn't deserve...for she is the better person of the two..that she deserves so much more than what he's given her.

Alas, though...he was the one that wanted the divorce.

The ya-ya's second mission was to uncover the culprit behing the dingo. Which wasn't a hard thing to do, we have the culprits ex as a friend also...he was very helpful in gaining addresses and phone number to do our survelience (sp?) with.

So we set out on a mission of truth and justice.

After finding the residence, and the evidence...the phone call was made that set things in motion to come, that was unsuspected by all ya-ya's involved. What a shock it was to have to face the reality, that the suspected culprit..was indeed the right suspected culprit that the dingo was indeed playing house with.

Which entailed the next phone call made to the dingo...by Tat. Who wanted to play guessing games with the dingo.

"Guess where I am you sorry S.O.B?", "Standing by your %^&^$ Truck by her house!!!!"

While Tat was on the phone, the ya-ya's decided to write the dingo a note...

Which read:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Is ** ** the best YOU could do?

Ha, a picture is worth a million words
Speaking of which, may the fleas of a thousand coon dogs infest your crotches and you have no finger nails to scratch.

Guess who, you dumb ****?

Which was left on a snack sack from the place of my employment.
Knowling leaving it on that sack for a reason.

1. The culprit used to be part owner...LMAO
2. The dingo visits regularly....
3. We really wanted them to know who found them.


If she'd had a ball bat, the game would have been on.......but we held her back from doing damage...and made our getaway.

You have to know, that dingo told he was going off gambling for the weekend..and everytime one of the kids called to talk to him, he was always in his room...(no dinging of slot machines?) And the day he left, he made a big deal of getting steaks out of their freezer to grill for himself that night??? LOL Which we all thought a lil funny, considering they don't have outdoor grills at casino's.????

What lil did we know but when we drove out of the gated establishment, they were almost to the point of driving in from their camping trip....(slot machines my ass) Which we found out later...

So...the ya-ya's having done what was asked and expected of them, and now consoling one of the sista's...again. We laughed about our snoopin' abilities..which are in no way, tactful.

Two weeks having passed sense the private ya-ya snoops done their duty, things seemed to have settled down to some extent. The cat..or should we say, Dingo? Was out of the bag and everything was in the forefront.

Tat asked the dingo for two things...1. Not to have the culprit involved with the kids till this was overwith. And 2. Not to have her on their property till this was overwith. (there is more than one house, she was in one and he was in the another)

Fine by Dingo!

So, that two week mark...Tat decided to go away herself for the weekend. On her day to return, my phone went to ringing off the hook. The only male member of the ya-ya's called to inform me of the culprit being at the dingo's house, that I needed to warn our stick of dynamite beforehand.

Myself, not listening and thinking I know the ya-ya as well as I do....didn't warn her. Thought to myself.."She won't be home till tommorrow, so let it go..no need in upsetting her."

WRONG!

And along come Tat!

Its funny how things work out...lmao I just happened to drive up in her driveway behind her. Thought I'd go by jus' in case she decided to come home...and BAM, there she was.

LIVID is not the word for it........

The anger that was building in that lil spitfire of a ya-ya was uncontrollable. She was a lethal weapon.......it was like a squirrel that had went bezerk. Freaky...I'm tellin' ya........Stroke level blood pressure, killin' machine!

Two of us ya-ya's were present at the beginning, and it was a tough battle. She went for her gun...........

The slap boxing had begun........I did one of those shuffles to catch up with the lil one heading to the gun room. When we both arrived, I had to jerk her from the cabinet, slap her to the other side of the room....and stand gaurding the cabinet with all the might I had.

She lost that battle, but the second round was coming and no one warned me in advance.

Back out in the yard we went......pacing, ranting and raising hell, MAD AS HELL......she decided she'd just whip their asses and get it overwith.

Out of breath at this moment, I said..,"The hell with her, let her go, maybe she'll get it out of her system and feel better and we can all go home!!" (Atleast she didn't have a gun, besides, she's a screamer...or so we thought)

So up to the other house she lit out in hot pursuit of some good ole' fashion ass whoopin'.

I looked at the other ya-ya...talk about lost, dazed and confused.......

I asked her, "Ok, what we do now? Wait to hear sirens?"

Silence..........................

What seemed to be an enternity......her son, come hauling ass up in the driveway...and out jumped Tat from his truck. All wild........

Still gawkin'........thinking to myself,........."she left out in her truck, not his??"

"TAT", I said..."WHERE'S YOUR TRUCK?"

"I went driving up the driveway.......and I...I...RAMMED THE BITCHES JEEP........TRIED TO SHOVE IT THROUGH THE LOG HOUSE! OMG....Then I bailed out of the truck, cause dingo come around side of the house where he was grillin' and he looked like a wild man...hehe, when I bailed out. I wanted a piece of the BITCH, but she run into the house screamin' and hidin'. He wouldn't let me in...so..I THROWED HIS PORK CHOPS on the GROUND, SCREW THAT S.O.B!!!!"

STILL GAWKIN'..........

The other ya-ya speaks up now..."Well, you give us something to talk about tommorrow!"

Oh my MMS, these were wild times down in the south.

Okay, I have a small story, nothing nearly as exciting as
MMS' adventures, but it came the closest to the ya-ya sisterhood experience. It goes back quite a few years, aehm, lots of years actually.

My friend Candice, always liked to go fishing, and once she talked 10 of us girlfriends into it too. She wanted us to take one of these deep-sea fishing excursions at night which they call the "Twilight trip". We were able to rent fishing rods, hooks and all that other equipment needed there, and we even got some Dramamine.

Candice explained to us that these commercial fishing boats have full service galleys, and serve everything except alcohol. We weren't allowed to bring any either. So, she
instructed each one of us to bring a coffee thermos bottle filled with booze. I had mine filled with red wine, and the other girls filled theirs with beer, wine, and some indefinable, but highly potent firewater. We were set !!!

Now picture a group of 11 girls clenching to their fishing rods, ready to embark into the sea, and bring home the bacon, aah...fish. The ship's crew (4 guys) and some of the fishermen on board were completely stunned when they
saw us coming down the ramp. They thought we took a wrong turn somewhere. One of them even said that the party liners were docking somewhere else. "No, no, we want to go fishing" was our synchronous answer.

After we got situated on the ship and drove a few miles out
to the ocean, the boat stopped at a supposedly good fishing location. The crew showed us where to get the bait, and when we saw the other fishermen grabbing live Anchovies and hooking them for bait, some of us nearly fainted. That's
when the first thermos made the rounds. Unfortunately it
was my good red wine which was empty in no time. Still,
we weren't able to touch the Anchovy, so the second thermos was opened and made the rounds. This time, we
got a pineapple-rum mix that almost knocked our socks off,
and we slowly became more daring, and silly as well.

Well, my first Anchovy bait died already before it hit the
water, and after a few more unsuccessful try-outs, I opted for a piece of dead fish as bait instead. Most of the other girls did the same. Candice showed us then how to throw
the line out and reel it in again. Some of our motor skills
were already disfunct and the lines got all tangled up and
created a huge mess. It was almost time to give up.

The other fishermen were still eyeballing us in disbelief,
and some of the girls got already too tipsy and couldn't stop giggling. After the 5th thermos was empty, we started dancing flamenco and were stomping through the entire
ship singing, laughing and being utterly silly.

The crew captain, or whatever he's called, got very
angry with us when he realized we were drinking booze.
He turned around and brought us back two hours
early so he can throw us off the ship. By then, some of us had gotten already sick, and we all were glad to have
solid grounds under our feet again.

By the way, the other fishermen got a free pass for another day.

HAHAHA...too funny!! Thanks for sharing that...
Makes ya smile don't it?....

Wonder what was going on through the crews minds at the time?

I thought it was time for another Ya-Ya story...lol

A few years ago, I had a sweet Red Firebird, T-tops and all. It was sharp as a tack, fully loaded and my baby.

I had to make a trip to the Little Rock, to get a copy of my son's birth certificate, because our baseball coach had misplaced the one we'd already given him...and it was to close a call to do it over the net, so "What the hell..anything to get out and about!"

So..I loaded up my friend, "Boo" with me. She doesn't really like my sense of adventure...lol I'm one of them that finds being lost...fun. You never know what you might get to see, or who you might encounter on such trips. But she loaded without much hesitation and off we set.

When we arrived in Little Rock, my directions were off kilter..so I decided to cruise around a bit in the neighboring blocks till I found a familiar landmark to guide us to the correct office I was looking for.

Time passed...and we were stopped at redlight, window to window with a nice Black Cadillac with an older gentlemen inside it. Harmless looking...Sweet..Innocent...umm, we thought might be of some assisstance in pointing us in the right direction.

I told Boo..."Put your window down, get his attention, and ask him for directions?"

Boo motioned for the gentleman to put his window down....

Which he did...

I'm all gawked over trying to get closer to her side of the firebird so I can hear what he's going to say....in all that loud traffic...

She's looking at him...ready to speak...

And he says to us..." NO THANKS...NOT INTERESTED!"

ROTFLMAO

I reached over and hit the button to roll up her window....

We looked at one another in utter shock.......

"WTF? Do WE LOOK LIKE FRIGGIN' PROSTITUTES?" I stammered!

Then we busted out laughing....

Boo tells me.."Well honey, if he thinks I'm a hooker...>sputters< He'd better get his checkbook ready, cause I don't charge by the hour, I charge by the pound...and this p**** ain't cheap!"

(In all honesty, I thought I was going to die...for some older man to think that we were propositioning him at a redlight...the both of us..when all we wanted were directions...and picked him to ask, because he looked the "Safest"...lol Were we ever wrong?)