The Bean's daily diary

I think the Bean's hair is gorgeous too - I just know that occasionally her mommy has to get a comb through it!

those pictures were taken about 2 minutes after she woke up.
Most of her hair( wich didnt come out in the picture) was standing straight up because she was sweaty.

I sat her on the counter, and started shooting.. HA!

actually. her hair is very easy to comb. It doesnt get knots , or tangles very easily.

After beans fall, we kept her close to us for a few days. Trying to keep her from getting too excited so she wouldnt hit her head on something else.


I got some great pictures of her and Daddy..











In this one, where it looks like a shadow, you can see the very edge of her bruised neck..
These were taken the day after her fall, before the bruise got as big as it did.

Great pictures, Shewolf.

Nice to hear that bean is on the mend.

Nice to see you back, as well.

thanks. ;-)


I was gettin a little worried there when I saw you had threatened to bring out your boys on me..



>shudder<

Photo album


Today is her first day at school.
Well..not really SCHOOL.. because she is only 2 for crikeys sake..
But, it is pre-school.

Anyway..
its her first day.
We dropped her off this morning about 715.
Both daddy and I walked out of there silent.. and feeling wierd.
Im about to go to a job that I usually take her with me on.

it already feels strange.
The house is quiet.. and I dont like it.

She isnt here sitting in my lap watching south park on the computer while she is having her morning bottle, and me my morning coffee.

She isnt crawling on all fours with a ball in her mouth pretending to be Buttercup.. our dog.

She isnt squeaking like a mouse because she thinks it is funny.

She wont be at my clients house playing with her toys, or using a sponge to wipe up things like mommy does.

She wont bring me a diaper because she needs to be changed.

She wont say - Jeeeeeeeeeeuce- because she is thirsty and wants some juice.

She wont say -mooowah- because she is hungry and wants 'more' food..

We wont color on ourselves with marker to make tatoos

we wont read a book

we wont play kitchen and make fake food

we wont pour water into her plastic tea cups and pretend to drink juice

we wont eat green peas with blueberries

we wont play with puzzles

I wont get to rock her for her nap

<sigh>

Aw, I know the feeling, shewolf.

How did the actual drop-off go?

Lovely pics, nice to see them collected like that.

The drop off was fine.

She raced into the room and began to play.

We have visited before, so she is familiar with the class room and teachers. Though most of the kids she met have moved on to the 3 year old class...

Last time we went, I hid outside the room and watched through the door.
After about 10 minutes she realized I was gone and kept hunting for me, but would return to playing in less then a few seconds.
I stayed outside the door for about a half hour and she did well.

I dont know how well she will do today considering this is her first time away from us.

Im sure she will be fine.
I am absolutly in love with her teacher , and the way they conduct the class room is fabulous.
Im not worried in the least about HOW her day will go.. Im just worried how she will take it.

Im taking my camera with me and Im going to attempt to catch a photo of her on her first day when I pick her up..
gonna be tricky..

shewolf
Shewolf, looks like the Bean is doing better than my two dogs where they are separated. Talk about cry babies. The Bean is a love-secure child and should do fine. Mother is another question.

BBB

We all know the cheese slid off my cracker along time ago...

BBB

Off to work I go


by myself

Little squeaker is on her own as well. <sigh>

have a good day everyone!

Shewolf--

You will both survive. In six hours you will be frantic with curiosity wanting to know details of Bean's day and Bean will not be forthcoming.

After all, mommies already know everything.

Hold your dominion.

You are absolutly right Noddy.

The lady I work for is also a friend of the Bean.
So her and I talked most of the time I was working about her sons first day at school, and how I was feeling about Jillians first day.

By the end of my visit with her, I could feel the tension in my shoulders from worrying and I had butterflies in my stomach to see her again.

I couldnt go to her school until after 2 because they have nap time from 11-2 and you can not disturb them unless it is an emergency.

I piled all of my stuff into my car and took myself to lunch.
I sat , deliberatly close to the play ground because that made me feel a bit better.. ( im a strange one I know..)

Had a nice salad, some cold tea and spent an hour petting a ferel cat who wandered under my table.

It was truly a nice lunch break.

Then I hurried over to the school and got out in a hurry and walked down the hallway.
I could hear kiddos crying from waking up , and I got to her classroom to find kids taking their stuff out to the cubby holes.

Her teacher.. gotta love her.. was smiling at me and whispering for me to not cry.. Jillian was ok. :-)

So, I waited and watched them all walk out to put their stuff up, and there was Bean.
It took her a second to realize it was me, and she squealed like a mad woman and raced up to me.
Hugged me so hard, she dug her nails into my neck. Had to be the best feeling in the world.
We just stood there for a while.. hugging.. and smiling.

I went into her class room to sign her out and her teacher said that not only did she NOT get upset after I left, but she was never nervous and was quite happy all day.

thats my girl..

Day 2

<sigh>

We went into the school no problem

Into her class room no problem

She started to play no problem

I left

Problem.


I could hear her teacher from the hallway telling her " JIllian why dont you come over here and stay in the room? Mommy has to go to work...."
I looked behind me and there she was , standing in the hallway by herself staring at me.
Her face all wrinkled up, and looking scared and hurt.

I turned around and she ran to me so hard she almost fell.

I picked her up and she started crying, and wailing.
So I waited until she was calm, and started telling her about how she will play during the day, then for a while the lights go out and her classroom will be dark. After that, she will play some more and then I will be back to get her with Daddy.

This lasted about 3 minutes . She stopped crying.. and I had to go.
I handed her to her teacher and walked out.

I could hear her yelling and crying all the way to the door.

Ooh.

I'm sorry, that has to be tough.

I have limited experience with this, so will let moms who do (and those who have been the caretakers) give the advice.

One thing that comes to mind is, did you say goodbye each time, or just leave? I think I remember that long-term, actually saying goodbye helps because the helps the child learn to trust that you'll be back, rather than being worried that you'll slip out at any time. A security thing.

Sounds like the people at the daycare center are wonderful, that's good.

Oh yeah. Been there, done that.

You and Bean are both going through separation anxiety! It's normal, don't worry.

The best thing you can do is not make a big deal of it. When you drop her off, do it quickly. The longer you hang around, the worse it will be for both of you. Just say, "Have a great day, honey! I'll see you at 5!" (or whenever) Give her a big hug and a kiss, tell her to go play now, turn around and walk straight out the door. Do not look at her. The teachers will handle her from there, and they have a lot of experience with this. (They practically had to slap my hands to get them off the door!)

I know it's tough. <sigh> I think it was harder on me than my son. After all, he had a wonderful day after I left. I was the one who spent the whole day worrying.

You'll get through this. Before long, she'll be used to the new routine. And so will you.

Big hugs.

Littlek has some excellent observations here:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=75860&highlight=separation+anxiety

that is a good thread. Thank you for posting it


I know she will go through many stages of seperation anxiety.
I was truly thinking that it would be the 3rd day when the tears and uncertainty would come into play.
But, she beat me by a day.

I always start talking about 'school' from the moment she wakes up in the morning, to when we are pulling up.

I play her day out for her by events.

I tell her- You will go play outside, then go in and have snacks. After that then Mr Craig plays music, you dance and sing then you eat lunch.

The lights go out, and it gets dark so you can sleep.
After you wake up and play a little bit, I get there.

As I leave, ( except yesterday) I will always make it short and sweet.
Something simple like -
I love you , have fun. I will see you when --blah blah blah-- happens .

Turn and leave.

I dont like the idea of sneaking out . So I wont be one to use that tactic.
I think that is rude and painfull for a kid. It is hard enough for them to understand that you WILL be back. So why pile on the feeling of " If I dont walk away from you , you wont dissappear mommy"

It is wierd to KNOW your child will experience seperation anxiety, yet FEEL uncertain about them going through it.

All of my gut instincts tell me " its ok. go get to work"
While my uterus ( or mother connection as you will) is saying

GO HUG THAT BABY YOU MEAN OLD WITCH..!

Shewolf--



I watched my first mother-in-law try to train her grandsons to weep and wail and gnash their teeth upon parting from "Granny Graycie". No one is suggesting that you slip Bean a Mickey Finn and vanish in a cloud of smoke.

From a toddler's point of view, anything that takes more than a minute of time is Terribly Important. If you make a protracted farewell, the farewell becomes a Big Deal--and Bean can contribute to a Big Deal. She's an observant and sensitive child and anxious to please her Mommie.



Keep the speech very short. Very, very short. Give her a kiss to keep in her pocket, take a kiss for your pocket and vamoose.

Then you can sit in your car, out of sight, and bawl your eyes out.

Hold your dominion.