The large-print thread

Hmmm...maybe we need a topic of conversation, just to get things started. Okay, how about this. At what age did you buy your first pair of bifocals? And How blurry is your vision, really?

This is like that reader's digest thing...don't they have a large-print version?

Wow, now this is REALLY large print.

THEN: Long Hair
NOW: Longing for hair.

THEN: The perfect high.
NOW: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

THEN: Keg.
NOW: EKG.

THEN: Acid Rock.
NOW: Acid Reflux.

THEN: Moving to California because it's cool.
NOW: Moving to California because it's warm.

THEN: You're growing pot.
NOW: Your growing pot.

THEN: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
NOW: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

THEN: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
NOW: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

THEN: Seeds and stems.
NOW: Roughage.

THEN: Popping pills, smoking joints.
NOW: Popping joints.

THEN: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
NOW: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

THEN: Paar.
NOW: AARP.

THEN: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
NOW: Being caught with Hustler magazine.

THEN: Killer weed.
NOW: Weed killer.

THEN: Hoping for a BMW.
NOW: Hoping for a BM.

THEN: The Grateful Dead.
NOW: Dr. Kevorkian.

THEN: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
NOW: Getting a new hip joint.

THEN: Rolling Stones.
NOW: Kidney stones.

THEN: Being called into the principal's office.
NOW: Calling the principal's office.

THEN: Screw the system!
NOW: Upgrade the system.

THEN: Peace sign.
NOW: Mercedes logo.

THEN: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
NOW: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

THEN: Take acid.
NOW: Take antacid.

THEN: Passing the driver's test.
NOW: Passing the vision test.

THEN: Swanson's Mushy chicken in an aluminum platter.
NOW: Lean Cuisine's Mushy chicken in a plastic bag.

THEN: "Whatever"
NOW: "Depends"

It's not very large on my computer.

Actually looks the same other than a couple of words.

[size=7]Is this too small?[/size]

Oh Squinney, sweet darling Squinney...are your eyes going bad?

Yes, Region! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!

this thread should be in braille

[size=28]Okay, I said I was going to go out for a walk a half-hour ago...dammit, I am going right now![/size]

[size=29] take your fiber first[/size]

(TOUCHING SCREEN WITH FINGER TIPS)


AHHH. THAT'S BETTER. NOW I CAN READ IT. GREAT IDEA, SHEWOLF.

Thank you, Kicky! Actually, this IS much easier to read!

(Isn't that sad?)

I got my first bifocals when I was 43. When your turn comes (and it's coming!), get the no-line kind.

How will you know when it's time? When you start having difficulty reading menus.

A girlfriend and I used to eat out regularly, and one day we were eating at a new place and she said, "So, what looks good to you?" and all of a sudden I realized she just wanted me to read the menu to her. The print was small and they'd used a fairly illegible font. So I said, "Oh, I don't know, what are you going to order?" She stared at me for a minute, then we both started giggling. The next week, we both went in for new prescriptions.

I remember when I had strannnnnnge eyes..

It was when I was working in an active landarch firm as a project manager and my paintings were up on the walls and I was a block from the ocean and got along with everyone and was about twenty blocks from home and husband.

So, one day I looked up and focused far away and then looked back at my drawing and couldn't see it clearly. There was confusion re near and far.
Well, we all here know I have weird eyes, but at that point I didn't know how weird. It turned out that I was having the usual thing that happens at, oh, 44, re the distance between the retina and iris or some such thing.

Because I have virtually always been very nearsighted and needed still to see fine drawings, I immediately got shuttled to ... not bifocals but trifocals.
This was perplexing as they are quite offputting visually - oooh, look at the martian past the glasses - but also from behind them, you have to learn how to deal with them.

At this point I think they are keen. I really like being able to see far and very near. And... (clutching rag) as vision has been sometimes threatened since, I don't give a sh/t what my glasses look like. Vision is a delight.

Glasses are good. They protect your eyes from mosquitos and small finches, night heron excrement, and thrown popcorn.

BBB
[size=7]I'm whispering.

BBB[/size]

Night heron excrement?!

Well, eva, there was some of that in my old neighborhood... they congregated at a ficus tree about four houses away from mine.
I have a photo of a night heron on my very minor pond in a pot...attractive as that scene is, get thirty of them together and you have a layer of night heron excrement.
Anyway, glasses are a bit protective...

HELLO!!!

[size=7]Christ on a pogostick, will you all stop shouting![/size]

OH YEAH. WE'RE BLIND, not deaf.

Sorry.