Arrrrr

Arrrgg, matey. Me always talk like me a pirate.

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
Maraud and embezzle and even hijack.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans and knaves.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs!
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er-do-well cads.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
Aye! But we're loved by our mommies and dads!
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirate's life for me.

Hello my lovely-I've been looking for a woman as beautiful as you all my life.

<singing>
Farewell and adieu, all you cankled young ladies,
farewell and adieu, though my song is quite lame,
for we've recieved orders to sail to Pacoima,
and then nevermore will we eat cheese again!

Bring me a serving wench a lusty lass ....

<puts on dress with petticoats and serves rum>

Arrr, is that a wooden leg in yer pocket, or are ya just glad to see the barmaid, laddie?

<flips up eye patch to get a better look at rum-serving wench>

One fer me and one fer me parrot.

If you want to understand Jespah:
Quick guide to pirate speak.

Drop your 'G's and 'V's
Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'".
Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".

'Be' not 'Are'
Pirates never 'are', they 'be'. Instead of 'I am' say 'I be'. Never say 'You are' when you can say 'You be' and so forth.

You may also get by with some simple phrases:

• Thar she blows! - I think I see something

• Dogs ahoy! - I have spotted the enemy.

• Shiver me timbers! - I am ever so slightly terrified.


• Avast ye varmint - Oi you!

• Weigh anchor! - Lets go!

• Yarr - I agree.

• Yarr! - I see your point, and agree wholeheartedly.

• Yarr-ha-harr! - You couldn't be more right if you tried.

• Kissin' the Gunner's Daughter - Taking a severe beating

• Blow me down! - Really? Never!

• Ye Scalywag! - nasty or villainous person.


• Ahoy - call to attract attention, something akin to 'Hello, there!'

• Bachelor's Wife - a mistress or girlfriend

• Clap of Thunder - powerful drink

• Fo'c's'le - Slang for Forecastle. A latrine.


• Loaded to the Gunwhales - drunk


• Son of a Biscuit Eater - a derogatory term for mariners employed by the landlubbers.

• Landlubber - a "Non-pirate".

Arr...It be a truly wonderful day. Me harties and I be plunderin yet another unsuspectin ship o' the Queen. Arr...we be makin a right wonderful profit from that one.

http://www.geocities.com/captcutlass/mu/so21.html

Yo ho ho and a Bottle of Rum


This was not a sea shanty but a very popular song with
these particular lyrics from a 1901 Broadway musical.


Lyrics

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em good and true'
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
And they lay there that took the plum
With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

More was seen through a sternlight screen
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Chartings undoubt where a woman had been
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot
With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot
Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid
That dared the knife and took the blade
By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!




By the by, has anyone ever met a jade who wasn't "plucky"?

BBB
You forgot the most important word: Argh!

Looks like velvet, smells like pee.

BBB

Yarrr!! Most helpful ye be, Tryagain! I be happy to serenade ye with a shanty penned by the late brownbeard, George Harrison ~

I want to be a pirate A pirate's life for me All my friends are pirates And sail the b. b. sea I've got a jolly roger It's black and white and vast Get out of your skull and crossbones And I'll run it up your mast With a yo-ho-ho And a ya-ha-ha And a ye-hee-hee-ho-hum With a yo-ho-ho And a ya-ha-ha And a yum-yum-jum-jum

Jespah wrote, "…I be happy to serenade ye…"

<BLUSH>

"I've got a jolly roger"

I don't care what you call it.

"It's black and white and vast"

"Get out of your skull and crossbones
And I'll run it up your mast"

Jespah, you are such a naughty pirate.
Psst. You can swash my buckles anytime. Just place a lantern in your window, when the coast be clear. :wink:

A PIRATE LOOKS AT FORTY--JIMMY BUFFET

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

(instrumental)

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

Coda:
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

Mr. Noddy, a long term diabetic has been having frequent hemorrhages in his "bad" eye and feels more comfortable when he wears a patch. Last year on the steps of the library a toddler gasped with delight and asked in a clear, carrying voice, "Oh, Mommie! Is that a real pirate?"

Everyone went home happy.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok.......

Oh, sorry... That's tomorrow.


Shiver me timbers!!! Arrghhh!

(Where, what, and who are me timbers?)

Shiver me timbers?

That's the vibration of a ship grounding on a sand bar--or perhaps a large, solid, inconvenient rock.

Heave to me hearties an' I'll regale ye with a tale o' sweet trade in the South Seas. But ye be revealin these secrets to some scurvy dog, like a landlubbin' lawyer from the A2K Forum and you'll have a taste of the cat, if'n I don't have the black spot put on ya, fer dead men tell no tales. And, ain't ya be knowin that shiver me timbers means a deed or action that is surprisin or threatenin to a sailor?

Well, blow me down. <changes back into normal clothes. Well, normal for me at least.>

Anyway, September 20th isn't anywhere near as exciting, I'm afraid.

We have the first day of Sukkoth, see: http://www.karaite-korner.org/holiday_dates.shtml according to the "real" Jewish calendar. And here I've been following the fake one all these years. According to mine, Sukkoth doesn't happen until October 18th.

Or, it can be Hollywood Magic Day, according to http://www.kidscastle.si.edu/newsletters/calendar/calendar_sep.html but that seems kinda lame as they didn't celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day and instead went with it being National Butterscotch Pudding Day. Still pudding is important. Perhaps the pirates were eating pudding while stirring their grog and, er, putting out lanterns.

Oh, and on this day in history (1500 something or other), Magellan set sail. Happy birthday to Red Auerbach and Sophia Loren.

Tomorrow I will celebrate Bilbo Baggins Birthday.

Frodo Lives!