Confused.

...I take good care of myself. Im 6'1, 220. Im very fit for my age. Better shape than her. I lift weights and stay groomed. Im very handy. Just wanted to add that Im not the elephant man. lol

Honestly, I don't remember her ever being very affectionate so it's not like we lost some spark. I guess zero affection just seems odd. Her father is very affectionate with his girlfriend. Her mom seems to be less affectionate with her husband.

Sympathy. No advice.

❤️

I've not ever been a person that expresses physical affection in general. I just don't see the need or the point. I'm not a dog nor a child, I don't need you to hold my hand and trapse down aisles at the supermarket or cross a street. I don't need an arm around me or guided in a particular direction. Military training was a boon for me. No "PDA", no physical contact was allowed in public. I thrived in that environment.

It's not that showing different types of love is difficult or I'm incapable of doing so. I just don't need it. I found a man who doesn't mind who I am. We've been married 16 years and still very much in love.

Your wife is who she is - she doesn't need what you do. There's nothing wrong with either you or her, just different approaches to showing affection. Either you accept it. Or NOT.

The issue here is that you feel hurt. And that hurt will morph into something neither one of you can recover from. You are not happy.

Is it time for a change?

Sound horrible, wishing you all the best.🫶🏻

Agree here - some people refer to this as "love language". Some may need words (I love you), some actions (like chores or cooking dinner), some time (where you put away electronics and go for a walk). (Your wife may feel everything is great and not even realize you are not happy or are getting the love language you need.

To her showing affection could simply be how committed you both are, that you provide and care for you children. She may not need a touch or hug and still feel loved.

I know you said you spoke with her but how? Have you ever sat down and said physical affection is important to me as it shows me how you care about me? That you actually need this?

You could have someone else's perspective; you can always go to a counselor to help you both work through this so both your feelings and needs are met.

If what you state here is completely true, on the surface and without actually meeting you both, it sounds more like you both have different needs and desires on showing your caring and love for each. If that is the case and you both are really committed to each other and willing to compromise and work on it, you should be able to meet each other's needs and improve on this. She may not just understand what you getting at. Sometimes it is harder for another person to fully understand or emphasize with someone else maybe having a counselor will help her understand your side.