Where were you when you heard the news of Gilligan's death?

Anyone?

Which Gilligan?

The one that grew whiskers on his chin again?

The one that was murdered. Forensic evidence points to the fact that he may have been severely beaten around the head and shoulders by a captain's hat.

I was at my computer, perusing the Google headlines, when the news gave me a shot to the solar plexus. I knocked the dog aside to get to the kitchen, where Effie was pouring out the coffee (it was too strong or old or something). "Effie," I said gently. "Gilligan is dead." Her eyes brimmed with tears. I felt old, and cold. I shuffled back to the computer, where I commenced to play the Simslots at Pogo, only very sadly.

I was getting ready for work and heard it on the radio. My first thought was, "I remember when he got busted for possession of pot a few years ago."

He sure aged fast. Wonder if it was the pot...or getting busted?

Where was I? I know I was listening to my radio. So I must have been (a) home, (b) at work, (c) driving my car, or (d) aomewhere else where the radio was on. Sorry, Gus, that's the best I can do.

It was in my apartment, late at night, mid-October, back in 2002. I was on my couch, making out with this chick who I barely knew, after a night of much wine and merrymaking. She straddled me as our hands wrangled with each other's meaty parts. She ripped her shirt open, reached back, and unsnapped her bra, whispering, "Check it out...they are spectacular." And they were.

I turned her over and as she and her spectacular mammaries lie beneath me, I unbuttoned my pants. "Here you go", I said, smiling, "let me introduce you to my little buddy..." I whipped down my pants and whispered in her ear, "You want spectacular? Meet Gilligan, baby."

But the wine had been too much, I'm sorry to say, and Gilligan lay flaccid, making my big introduction look ridiculous. "Oh my, Skipper!" she laughed, "Gilligan's dead!"

I'll never forget where I was on the night Gilligan died.

i first heard about it on WA2K radio

Jesus Christ, my personal **** was on the RADIO!? Can't I have any privacy at ALL!!!!???

no i'm talking about the real gilligan


i read all about your little problem in the enquirer