How to switch focus?

Hello. It’s a desperate plea. I would like to know if someone can help me or give an advice how to act. I’m married and since some time I almost don’t feel arousal for my wife. It becomes normal when I a little bit tipsy. But when I’m sober it’s complicated. I feel my excitement transferred somewhere deep down inside me but it’s not enough to make my stick work properly. Arousal emerges immediately while texting or watching men’s content. Are there ways to force my focus on wife again while turn down the excitement for men?