Walz Demolished Vance, According to Poll of Cats
Oct 01, 2024
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/walz-demolished-vance-according-to
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Tim Walz trounced Senator JD Vance in Tuesday night’s vice-presidential debate, according to an instant poll of cats.
Ninety-eight percent of cats who watched the debate said that Walz won, despite Vance’s having whiskers and eye makeup that made him slightly resemble a cat.
A broad majority of the cats found Vance “repellent,” with 94 percent saying they would “prefer a dog.”
Finally, 79 percent of cats surveyed said that, if the election were held today, they would pee on Vance.
