What are the differences between 9 1/2 weeks and 50 shades of grey?

I didn't watch the 50 shades movies but I read the books. But I just watched the 9 1/2 weeks movie and I noticed many similarities between John Gray and Christian Grey as well as differences. In my experience, relationship dynamics are complicated and appearances can be deceiving upfront which is why the victim is usually blindsided, but I found differences between the way Kim Basinger responded her abuser and the way Dakota Johnson responded to hers. In reality most of these situations result in the victim leaving or getting killed which is why I personally found 9 1/2 weeks more empowering than 50 shades, because Basinger's character left her abuser and Johnson's character married and had children with hers. Real life usually doesn't work this way which is why I felt this sends an invalidating message to victims that diminishes their experiences and encourages them to tolerate poor treatment. However, I am just curious to see how both books/movies resonates with others.