This essay just blew me away....

It turns your stomach around, doesn't it?
This article should go into Frank's Abortion thread, so
the pro life activists can see what happens to unwanted
children. Child abuse is so prevlent - it makes me sick.

I'm hoping Newsweek doesn't mind it being reposted often so put it where you think people who need to see it will see it.

I think this essay deserves a very wide audience.

there is some small comfort in the fact that at least some of them got some degree of love and affection, there are no doubt countless others who don't

The writer is an outstanding 11th grader. The real-life education she is receiving at home can't compare with anything else. She used words that created pictures that I just can't get out of my head. It must break her heart when the little ones her family has been protecting and nurturing are sent BACK to their abusers.

Yeah djjd, I hope you're right. I know from Devious Britche's thread about Mr. 3 that some of these kids aren't even able to accept love and comfort.

I've seen a bit of that myself.

I think this essay hit me so hard because tomorrow will be the one year anniversay of having heard from Mo's dad. I hear from his mom periodically in some insane capacity though......

But man-o-man. Is it ever a powerful essay.

I agree Debra that this is an truly exceptional girl and I think her mom and dad must be astonishing.

If the writer never ever does another damn thing she will be extraoridinary but I expect that we'll all be hearing her name again sometime in the future.

boomerang, when you'll go to social services for your
"home study" you hear many more of these unfortunate cases.

bm

I don't think we have to do the home study thing, CJane, since everything has really been done privately. (At one point I did try to get the state involved and they were completely and adamantly "not interested".)

I really don't know how many stories I could stand.

Some days I can hardly bear to open the newspaper.

It just seems to be getting worse and worse and worse.

Everybody needs to complete the home study boomerang,
regardless if the adoption is private or not.

I'm sure you're right.

But it has never been mentioned to us at all.

Do the laws differ state to state?

Debra?

No they don't boomerang. Here is some info to it

http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/pubs/f_homstu.cfm

Great essay. It reminds me of a friend whose parents were foster parents. They had a bunch of kids coming and going. Most of them were crack babies and had one learning disability or another. They ended up adopting two little girls and one little boy.

I remember the boy would sit in this baby seat that hung from a door jamb (kind of like a tire swing but it was a baby seat). They would put it in the Dinning room door which led into the living room which was sunken (one step below the dinning room). He would get his little feet moving and swing off the stair way out into the living room. It was hilariou to watch.

They were the most diverse family I ever knew. The mom was English and had one son from a previous marriage. The dad was chinese and together they had 3 more sons (half english half chinese). All three of the foster kids they adopted were African American. Three dogs, two cats, too many fish to count and two birds. That place was a riot.

Hey thanks CJane! I'm going to read that over very carefully. I have nothing to hide and would welcome any checks but we aren't using an agency either public or private.

Maybe our attorney counts as an agency but I don't think so.

Hmmm.

That sounds like a wonderful family to know, jpin.

I am in awe of people who have such a capacity for love and patience.

It doesn't matter boomerang, once your attorney starts
adoption procedures, social services will contact you for
the home study. You also will need to have a physical
and an HIV test done.

But the link I gave you will explain all the details there.
I keep my fingers crossed for you.

Another thing, the sooner you start the home study
proceedings the better, as it will take about 6 months
to complete the study (depending on the state).

We couldn't begin proceedings until it had been at least one year since we'd heard from Mo's dad -- that's tomorrow.

Mo's mom is willing to terminate her rights.

Our attorney said to give it a few months past the one year mark so we've got another few months to even get things started.

I'm really not worried about the home study stuff but I confess it completely freaks me out to think they could say "No" after he has lived here.... let's say.... four years by that time. (He's been here more than 2 1/2 now.)

Frankly, I worry more about what would happen to Mo than what would happen to me if he were taken from our home.

But I worry about me too.....

Don't worry boomerang, they won't say "No".
However, you can start your home study whenever you
wish, as most prospective parents complete the study
prior to obtaining a child. So for the home study, it doesn't matter, if Mo's parents rights are not terminated yet. It probably
would save you time though, as the adoption won't be
completed before the home study is finished.

Good to know CJane!

It is really nice to learn the ropes from someone who had been there and I thank you so much!

Reading through that info makes me think -- if everyone who had a kid had to pass that we wouldn't have a need for foster care.