i want to know about eye contact

Hi, sorry...What exactly do you mean here?

Why would making eye contact make you look stupid?

coffeemate- Look briefly- don't stare!

Step 1 - Open your eyes
Step 2 - Do not drool
Step 3 - Do not leer
Step 4 - Do not look up
Step 5 - Do not look down
Step 6 - Do not close your eys
oh, um....what exactly is the question?

Dont do that thing were you can look in 2 directions at once, then you wont look stupid.

Perhaps you shouldn't suck your thumb while ogling your intended.

In general you cannot get it wrong as long as you stay calm. If you begin thinking about it your eyes will start to twitch and then your saliva will start manufacturing in overdrive rate and it'll get real messy, ugly and bad real fast.

Maintaining eye contact for longer than 5 seconds usually makes people nervous, unless you are close to each other. It also indicates you are interested in someone you don't know.

Try looking at someone you aren't close to in the eyes for 5 seconds. It might not seem like a long time...until you try it.

I know what coffemate means......

like bella said, look at someone, but glance away, avert your eyes for a split second now and then.

I hate it when someone "zeros" in on me and never looks away. It's disturbing.

It also makes me think that persons not sincere, or trying to pull one over on me, because they are doing something unnatural.

Eye contact is NOT staring at someone when you're talking.
Ask any cat or dog, staring is a challenge, a show of dominance.

Observe how the other person is responding to your gaze. Do they look like they appear comfortable.

Along with good eye contact, personal space is important. Different cultures have different amounts of personal space, and of course individuals with that group have their own.

I need more space than most. If I'm talking to someone, and both of us can stretch our arms out, and our fingertips meet, that's about right for me. Any closer and I feel crowded.

At that distance, I can see the entire person, and read their body language.
When someone wants to talk to you right on top of you, I can't think straight. I find myself wanting to say something like "Nice nostrils, what does the rest of you look like"?

Some of us read lips.

There's a fine line between confident eye contact, and staring at a woman while licking your lips and mouthing the words "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

.....and yet, you look so innocently on photos Slappy.

It's one of my assets.

Obviously that is different.

I've never had a deaf person totally stare every instant at my mouth while I'm speaking

There's eye movement, blinking eye contact, looking at my lips, glancing at my gestures, it's feels natural.

I'm talking of someone who locks onto one or both of your eyes and they never look away from that spot.

I feel various responses to that......
a. do I have a booger hanging from my nose?
b. oh no, my nose itches, this person is STARING, if I go to itch it, it'll look like I'm picking my nose.
c. why is this person trying to intimadate me?
d. this person is trying to pull one over on me, he's probably some pychopath that thinks this is how humans with souls talk to each other.

I never think, Gee, it's really great the way this person will not look away.

I never realized that this simple act of looking at someone forthrightly while conversing has such deep social and psychological implications. Me, I jsut do what comes naturally.

Extremely good point and worthy of note. There is a marked difference between normal eye contact and staring. Confident people do not mind eye contact and, in fact, welcome it as it portrays interest. Eye diversion is body language for someone who is uncomfortable, not being honest or lacking in confidence.

edited to add - Some cultures avert eye contact and feel that they are being looked down upon. The Cambodian culture is one. I found that out the hard way.

Apparantly you were making eye contacts with my previous posts, but were not asorbing them............the same way some people stare at you when you speak to them, but you can tell the lights are on but no ones home.

I was not refering to someone who continually looks away, avoids meeting your eyes, the ones who portray the negative body language you site above.

There is an appropriate way to make eye contact with someone while speaking to them, without appearing to stare OR imply insecurity or dishonesty.

If, Intrepid, you reread my other posts, you will see I advocate looking at someone when they speak, but not unblinkingly stare, as if in rapt attention. That comes across as false, or in some cases, can even imply danger.
You will notice most people with good social skills look someone in the eyes the majority of the time, but there are regular breaks in eye contact.

I am a visual person, when someone asks me a question, I find myself looking up and to the left, as if I am seeing the answer or object in question there.
I don't recall anyone questioning my confidence or honesty lately.

Also glancing away for 1/2 a second gives the listener a chance to think.

Next time you are people watching, observe this.

I assure you, my lights are on and I AM at home. I certainly was not advocating staring at a person. On the contrary, I agree with the blinking etc. As for the looking up and to the left, I do not agree. However, I doubt that anybody would ever mention one way or the other to someone.

see link below - looking up is visualizing, looking horizontally is auditory, looking down is accessing emotions.

I learned this back in childhood, and through observation of people, I've found it to be true.
looking up and left I am "seeing" something - when looking up and right you may suspect someone is lying, as they are "seeing" something that isn't there.
I don't know about the auditory part, I can't speak to that.
People commonly look downward when remembering feelings.

I'm sure there are other links out there

http://www.nlp.com/about-nlp/nlpintro.html