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Sun 28 May, 2023 06:01 pm
So at my current office job that ive been at for 7 months ive been talking to this one girl, she started being around me alot, staring at me alot, and she would walk by me alot, touching me on the shoulder and things like that, so one day i asked how she was and she just sat by me and we started talking for awhile, she would keep going outside on her break where i was and sit close until i would tell her to come sit by me again and we would talk. Im not sure why but i started to get real nervous around her even more because i started to get feelings i guess, everytime i talk to her i just mumble and ask dumb questions now. Because of my anxiety plus shes a shy girl so its hard to read how shes feeling at the moment, so a couple weeks later i ask for her number and she looks at me and says “why do you want my number”? and out of nervousness i say “so we can hang out sometime” and she gave it to me and said bye and walked off. Then a couple days later i see her and she says “can i talk to you?” “i said is it about the number?” she says “yes, i gave you my number out of anxiety and i dont really know you that well” so i said “ok i understand, do you have a boyfriend?” and she smiles and says “no, is that why you asked?” and i said “yeah” we laughed and then went to our desks. After that i felt like i got rejected so i started avoiding her at work because my anxiety and i was overthinking everything like maybe im being too needy or desperate. And now she acts different, she dont look at me as much as she used to, she dont come by me anymore or smile that much anymore. If i wave at her and say hi she will respond but thats about it. Last time i tried having a convo with her she just seemed uninterested in talking to me any more. What can i do to bounce back from this? was i acting too needy or was me not talking to her as much after that made it seem like i didnt like her anymore? im not sure what to do but having to see her everyday hurts and i wish i could see if she still likes me or not.
@Ericdravencrow,
Sorry to say this but very few people are attracted to needy, insecure people. People are attracted to confident people. And that's just a fact. You mention your anxiety a lot so I would suggest speaking with a therapist about it - why you are, when you are, and what you can do about it.
And please remember, people are a little egotistical - if a friend doesn't return a text or phone call in a timely manner, we wonder what we've done to offend them when, most often, it's not even about us at all. They're busy, their mom is sick, they're having problems with a neighbour, sibling or colleague... their behaviour is rarely about us. Try to remember that - it'll save you a lot of agonizing in the future.
@Mame,
Just happened across this short video about this topic:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2_NyF5o0ez4