I am a 21 year old male, I honestly have no clue what I am or how to classify myself or if I'm just a mix of like everything. I have had 2 female sexual partners over the last 2 years. One a long term thing and one that lasted a week.
I wouldn't say I enjoy sex but it isn't the end of the world, both partners I've had I have found I enjoyed it the first time and not really any of the other times unless I was under the influence of alcohol. I also would prefer to have sex with the lights off because I do not like the genitalia (when I watch porn I normally fast forward to the parts where only the women's upper torso is present and I can see her facial reactions.)
To cover my sway to men/women I would say I am not attracted to men like I am attracted to women's appearance but I feel like I would prefer having oral sex on a man than a girl. I just think a penis is less disgusting then a vagina? But I'd never have penatrive sex with a male as I also do not like going anywhere near an asshole - same disgust as a vagina.
When doing the deed my mind drifts off or I have to keep thinking how long is this going to take and that it's sort of boring - even though both my previous partners seem to be enjoying it alot. Some times I don't even get off to sex, like when I lost my virginity I didn't orgasm after 20-30 minutes of different positions etc whereas other times I orgasm in like 20 seconds.
I also am just really confused as I don't mind the idea of sex and in theory it doesn't bother me and I do get arroused by the idea of it, when it comes to actually doing it I don't like it as much and I feel bad for my partner as I guess it's could be a bit of a killjoy for them.
I've thought I might be asexual but alot of the descriptions don't seem to fit as I'm still sexually attracted to people but just don't really enjoy the sex.
Any advice or suggestions would be heavily appreciated and I'd be open to answer any questions you might have
Thanks in advance all!