Is it normal to be really jealous of my friend's baby/motherhood? Really need help please.

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I became a mother to a beautiful little girl a while back, it was unexpectedly challenging but I loved it. I didn't really bond with my newborn immediately and apparently that's normal? I have grown to love her a LOT.

My friend also recently had an newborn girl and I noticed that she immediately bonded with her baby girl, that her baby has rooted for her nipple since birth (breastfeeding really brought me close to my child) and that they shared a mutual loving bond where her infant would calmly feed until full, then sleep.

Anyway I just... Can't help but be really miserable about it, and even as I type this I have tears in my eyes; I want HER baby, or at the very least for my baby to be more like her's. It isn't fair. I did everything right. I did everything that she's doing now and I never had that connection with my newborn, it's gotten to the point where when I'm holding HER baby I don't want to give her back and I'll find any excuse to go visit.

Is it normal? Will these feelings go away?

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@AquariusFem96,

Life isn't fair, Simba. Yes, you can still do everything right and not have it live up to your expectations. Please seek additional mental health remedies as it seems like post-partum depression may be an issue.

I'm not sure why'd you want your child to be like someone else's. Sure, you didn't bond in the beginning, but you do now, correct? You do realize parenting is a life long commitment, not just the nursing months, correct?

Each child is a unique and varied experience. This is your experience. Don't wish it away for another or think you've gotten jipped with a defective baby because of it.

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@neptuneblue,

So this isn't normal?

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@AquariusFem96,

In what way do you want your baby to be more like hers? Because she roots for the nipple and goes right to sleep after?

You say you love your daughter a LOT... so what's the problem?

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@Mame,

I just wanted to know if wanting her baby was normal. I want my baby too, for clarification, I don't really know what I want.
I just want to know whether these feelings are normal, whether anyone else has had this, and if I'm sick or not.

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@AquariusFem96,

I don't think it's normal and the suggestion you may have postpartum depression is a good one. Why not google it and see if you meet any of the criteria? That might ease your mind a bit. And you can speak to your family doctor about it and perhaps get a referral to someone familiar with PPD.

Edit: Here's an article from the Mayo Clinic. Have a read.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

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@Mame,

Yeah I did some googling and read some docs, I didn't really want to go to my doctor because I feel like this is shameful somehow, like I'm trying to compensate for not loving my child or something. (Which I'm not)
I will go to my gp though, if that's what you suggest. Sort of new that's where this was headed. Kinda just hoped what I was experiencing was normal.

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@AquariusFem96,

Good luck to you, AF96. How you feel isn't shameful... it's a reality for you that you're uncomfortable with, so getting help from somewhere is essential for you.

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