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Sun 3 Jul, 2022 02:00 pm
The thing is im so confused because I think im on the art-spec but im not sure and I need help.
I think I want to fall in love, but I can’t and I know that I don’t need any kind of relationship to be happy in life. But the justification.. I just want to feel loved in a romantic way even if I can’t give that back. I know this sounds so selfish.. I want to be able to feel love and fall in love and even tho I know that I can’t I want to. That doesn’t even make since I really don’t like any romantic or sexual stuff. I know that I don’t need it but in my head I just want to be loved. But not by some random person. I want to be loved by someone that I love too. I know that that’s not possible since I can’t and don’t want to fall in love, I don’t need it. This makes no sense I’m repeating myself and contradict myself this is so useless. The thing is I want to be loved and to be able to fall in love, but I don’t actually want or need it. I just like the expectation of it. But not just a random one. I want to be liked like a boy likes a boy but again, no I don’t want that. If it’s in my imagination that’s okay but irl I don’t want that for myself. And anyway it’s just cute mlm anime couples that I like.
So the thing is: I want to be loved but I don’t want it to happen to me irl.
This makes like zero sense
@justaghost,
“Being in love” is a great feeling, especially at the beginning.
No wonder you seek it! ( even if it’s one sided)
Are you crushing on someone? Or has someone made flirting gestures to you?
@PUNKEY,
there's a so called "crush". but it feels more like an intense desire for a super close friendship with someone I've known since primary school. she already is my best friend but I have these strong desires to be even closer with her. but not as in "I love her in a romantic way and want a relationship".
when I think about relationships I always think of mlm anime/manga ships/couples and I find that cute but idk if I ever would want that for me yk?
@justaghost,
Yeah, those friend crushes are part of being aro/ace, I forget the term but you don't have to love or be loved romantically. You could have a really close friend. Also most relationships you read about are so much prettier than real relationships
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