Smoking issue

There are many programs that help with kicking smoking. I'd suggest your daughter reach out to her insurance company ...assuming in you are in the US..and see which programs they recommend. Most insurance companies will have some sort if benefit in regards to this.

As aside both my parents smoked ever since they were teenagers. My dad did quick and my mom quick when I was pregnant... She knew we were likely not to allow her to be around the baby if she were smoking.

It can be done although not easy.

So, your granddaughter (if I'm reading this right) has been pregnant for around 8 1/2 months, and no one has suggested to your daughter to seek medical attention or other assistance in quitting smoking?

Smoking is a major addiction, She probably won't get past it in about a month. Expect fits and starts. Expect setbacks. Of course it's a worthwhile goal for her to quit, and not just for this reason. But stress can make people reach for a smoke-- and now that things are down to the wire, guess what kind of pressure your daughter will be feeling?

As for your granddaughter, nice idea to not have people smoke around her kid.

And.... it's utterly impractical.

Unless she keeps her baby inside forever, inevitably they will encounter someone who smokes. That's reality.

But your granddaughter's goal is misplaced. She shouldn't want to have the baby around smoking, not smokers. What I mean is, She needs to set a clear boundary in her home: no smoking inside, ever, and no sneaking even an outdoor cigarette more than once every 2 hours.

If your daughter wants to see the baby, she'll comply. And, every time, she'll try to make it to 2 hours. Again, expect failure and fits and starts. And your daughter should still get medical or other help.

But people who quit addictions (like drinking) are often better able to handle things by starting and keeping compliance streaks. This is why you see/hear people who say they've been 20 years sober. It's not just an accomplishment unto itself. It's also a reminder that they've done 20 years sober, so they can handle the next 20 minutes.

Imperfect? Yes. But she and the baby have a relationship and your daughter isn't punished for poor decisions she probably first made when she was still a minor. And your granddaughter learns some flexibility and empathy.

IANAD.

That's true and many insurance companies now cover Chantix 100%, a friend of mine quit on that prescription another friend of mine quit by wearing the patch.

To tell her mother that she can't be around the baby while smoking is one thing, is sensible, but to say she can't be around the baby at all if she smokes is fanaticism and controlling. Having a smoker around the baby poses no medical problem unless the person is smoking at the time.
If the mother is that much of a control freak, that doesn't bode well for the baby either.

I agree. And sure that'll change as soon as needs a babysitter!

I disagree here because we were able to and the key here is indoors. How? Almost everywhere is smoke free indoors now. And you do not go over other people's homes where the smoke indoors. Most people (even smokers) rarely smoke inside - at least that has been my experience and this was over 20 years ago.

Yes outdoors you will run into it, however, outdoors it is easy to walk away from it. My kids today as young adults - will walk a wide berth around someone that is smoking outside as they dislike the smell so much.

Also reading this - it sounds as if the mother knew about this longer than just more recently - as she is stating her mother said she will give up smoking, but so far she has not succeeded - which gives the appearance mother knew about this a while ago, but it has not worked to date.

So that is why I had suggested reaching out to her insurance company and see what options are out there. I was guessing she was trying on her own vs. getting help in a number of ways that are available.

Second hand smoke is serious and especially to those small lungs. But you can work with the grandmother so that she can still see the baby but not smoke any where near the child.