0
   

Would doing this be wise?

 
 
Sat 5 Mar, 2022 12:05 am
There are these 2 YouTube influencers I once looked up to, I found their videos helpful in advising me on how to deal with abusive relationships I had been the victim of. I had left kind encouraging comments on their videos and they in turn hearted my comments however more recently they stated stuff to the effect that if a victim of abuse chooses to stay with an abuser then the victim is partly at fault for said abuser's actions.

I myself used to blame myself for my abuser's behavior because I believed I deserved it and wouldn't find anyone better and as a battered child I was used to this sort of thing so it was normal to me. And then when others including even some police officers told me the abuse my batterer gave me was my fault this only further reinforced my negative beliefs about myself, making it all that much more difficult for me to leave my perpetrator, and in turn made me victim-blame others in my situation too; so I do understand the ignorance people have.

I now realize abuse is a choice and there is no excuse for it. The reason victims often stay with their abusers is because of how much the abuser controls the situation. The victim frequently gets cut off from their family and friends or does not have the money, job skills, housing etc. to leave, or in more extreme situations the abuser physically blocks doorways and other exits when the victim tries to leave or threatens to kill the victim if they leave. It is often very difficult for victims to escape once they find themselves stuck in the cycle and it is never their faults, it's the abusers'.

However, when I posted comments along these lines to these Youtubers, they promptly deleted my comments and then blocked me. Even though I was not rude or disrespectful in any way, and tried to be positive and constructive as possible. Meanwhile, they hearted all the comments saying, "You are right, I was stupid for ignoring all the red flags, I acknowledge responsibility for being with a known abuser..." etc.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't taking this personally because I know I can't expect every Youtuber I like to like me and I know it's their right not to like me or something I write, however, when someone just dirty-deletes like that, it tends to make me very suspicious about that person. I know I am not perfect myself and I know I sometimes say things that I shouldn't which is why when someone calls me out, I am willing to own up to my mistakes, apologize and then move on and grow from it. This is why I think that erasing comments that could potentially help other commenters who these people were causing to wrongly victim-blame themselves seems narcissistic to me.

I thought of ignoring this and letting it go ("to hell with them, they don't care about their viewers, they only care about the revenue and their own vanity" blah blah blah) however, the more I tried to, the more I couldn't. As I had intuitively saved screen shots of my comments suspecting somehow that they would get removed, I thought of adding those screen shots to a video of my own, calling these people out and warning others about them, then reassuring them that they are never to blame for their own abuse.

I know no one here can really tell me what to do but I am open to suggestions as to whether this is really such a great idea or not. I myself am a fairly small YouTuber compared to the 2 in question and fear any backlash or anything else that might only make things even worse for myself. I don't want to be mistaken for a hater/troll, I don't even intend to try to make these Youtubers look bad, I only want others to know that their victim-shaming philosophies are wrong. I plan to wish these 2 well and only ask that they do better next time. (Sorry if I am being long-winded, I just want to make sure I am making sense about everything).
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 188 • Replies: 2
Topic Closed
No top replies

 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Sat 5 Mar, 2022 12:52 am
I fully support your cause. I can only suggest you not make references specifically about any of these people, but tell your truth and in the replies your video gets remove the hurtful ones instead of arguing with them.
The1Barbie
 
  1  
Sat 5 Mar, 2022 04:57 am
@edgarblythe,
Thank you Edgar I will try that.
0 Replies
 
 

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Would doing this be wise?
Copyright © 2024 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.08 seconds on 05/21/2024 at 01:12:04