Why am i turned on by this?

I am a 23 year old girl.My sexuality is pretty complex and i changed my inclinations during time but right now i feel pretty confused.
The main point around all my fantasies is sexual frustration.I am aroused by other people's sexual frustration.When i was younger this was more extreme and centered around humiliation but right now i simply like the idea of someone wanting to **** so bad that loses control.That's just soft bdsm like tease denial and but i can't do this with my boyfriend for different reasons.
One reason is that he is a very dominant person irl and in sex but,yes, i could talk with him and find a compromise but the real reason is that i wouldn't like to do this thing with a person i admire or i consider strong and charismatic.He is super able to control his urges.I cannot feel desired or feticized by someone who is mentally stable.So it can be also a compliment for him.But still i don't know what to do with this sexual energy that torment me sometimes.What would you suggest to find a way out of this?