Parenting advice, son may be smoking pot

Single parent, divorced. On good terms with ex.

Why not raise the topic with your ex? The two of you can sit him down and in a calm, non-judgemental way broach the subject. Pot is being decriminalized all over the US so it's not going away and it's probably best to get it out in the open as soon as possible. You don't say how old he is (13? 17?).

Yeah what mame said. And it isn't a failure on your part. It can be simply him being a teen and trying to fit in, experimenting, etc. It is actually the opposite as you notice this change ...that is,an indication of good parenting.

I think talking to him with your ex would be best. Focus on by being supportive and being clear on how this impacts the developing mind at his age. One thing is with the legalizing of pot...might make,many kids think it is not so harmful. But it is,especially to teens .

Another twist that could be on your side...is your son involved in sports? If so this is leverage...he could be kicked off the team...it impacts his athletic ability

One thing mame asked is what us his age this could change how you deal with it...if he is 13 you would handle it a bit differently than if he us 17.

I would not be against grounding and removing privilege s depending on age and circumstances... But I think first you need to really see what is going on and move more to his buy in.If he has been communicative with you before then you should hopefully have more success showing you care and want to help .

One other thought if you or your ex has access to an EAP program where you work...you could reach out to them ...they have lots of valuable resources to give you suggestions on how to deal with stuff like this.

Another thing you mentioned was a 'marked change in his behaviour'. Could you elaborate on that? Is he sullen? Less talkative? More private?

And raising kids is not easy. We can't read their minds or feel their emotions. They don't always share, and they sometimes don't even know exactly what's bothering them. Communication is key... start out with humour to reach out to him and then progress to a nice, mild, non-judgemental chitchat.

Yes it is. We’ve always had an open line of communication with our kids. Our oldest son, “Teenager” knows he can come and talk to us about anything without judgment. If he ever smoked pot he would probably come to us and tell us what he did knowing full well he would be grounded.

I managed to keep mine from pot until they got to college. I can't say how I did it past we did talk about it whenever it came up, and we kept the discussion as free from "just say no" fear mongering as we could. They both thought DARE was a big joke, that it kept no one from drugs.

And they knew I smoked on occasion.