What would you do?

Background. Been together 25 years, married for 4. Both in 40s. I do everything and anything she asks within reason. I am devoted to her, have never cheated and won't. Sex life is plain and infrequent. I always initiate it, I make sure she is "taken care of" every time by ways of oral. This is not reciprocated. She always seems cold and tired. She does work hard and I tell her daily that I appreciate her efforts and that I love her and that she is beautiful. Never a word from her after a 12 hr day then am asked to do other manual labour when I am exhausted. And then still nothing
I had a full on crying meltdown on New Years eve trying to get through to her that I need more affection and a little appreciation. To this she said "You're free to leave at any time, I'm not stopping you". This shook me to the core. She would rather me leave than incorporate a slight adjustment to her role within the marriage. This has been eating at me for a week now. I'm in tears every night and I've hardly slept.