Why cant i move on from a friend who abandoned me, even years later?

I want to preface this story by saying there are 2 sides to every story. I know in my heart that some things that happened probably made the other party very uncomfortable, but I want to be as honest as possible. Essentially, a pastor's daughter and I had been maintaining friendship for several years. Our discussions were always cordial, however I will admit that, while she sent the first message, I realized after a while I became a bit attached. She would always respond enthusiastically, so I never knew there was an issue. So one day, in what felt out of the blue to me, she and her sister just ignored me and stopped talking. No discussion. Later on her brother approached me to say I was barely tolerable. Thats it. These events would trigger my first and only mental breakdown, where I experienced psychosis and schizo bipolar. Essentially, I had delusions and hallucinations that she ran away from home, so I turned myself into the police thinking it was my fault. After that I hallucinated the police were scanning my house and such. This would lead to my first mental health stay. When I got out a couple weeks later, I saw the girl had blocked me, but what was weird is the sister and mother had continued liking my facebook posts. One day the assistant pastor told me the pastor was "more than willing" to speak with me, however I noticed that immediately upon setting up a meeting, more of the family had blocked me. The pastor essentially said theres no animosity, they care about me, but wanted to give me the space i need to move forward. I asked if I did anything to hurt anybody, he said he did not feel slighted. He then said I have to take responsibility for my actions, and my actions have consequences. This upset me because at no point did they ever take responsibility for insulting me or abandoning me. He also told me the police had visited the church after service on a Sunday. So all in all even after all these years I feel completely devastated and have never moved on, however I also know that the whole police thing probably made them super uncomfortable, I said some pretty alarming things to the police, but nothing that could actually get me arrested.
On the one hand, I feel like its their fault for causing my breakdown, but on the other hand I know my breakdown had to be siper uncomfortable for them.
Im not sure what I want really, maybe I just want the girl to at least try talking about whatever was bothering her in the first place. I dont really know.
Anyways, end long rant.