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Sat 18 Dec, 2021 08:18 pm
I haven't seen my younger brother since Christmas 2009. My family and I dislike his wife for reasons I cannot get into now. It's a long, depressing story.
He has three kids. Last year, my mother repeatedly said that it is really stupid on my part to send money to my brother's kids for Christmas, especially since I am not in their lives. Occasionally, I help my brother's oldest son who is in middle school with online math homework.
Anyway, I have a Christmas card for the kids. There is a check in there for $60. You know, $20 per child. What do you say? I think my mother is right, though. You say?
@nycdad,
If you occasionally help your nephew with homework you are apart of his life...but even putting that aside these are children. Whatever you have going on with your brother and his wife is nothing to do with the kids...the kids cannot control that.
How do you feel about the kids? Would you want a relationship with them...do you care about them? If so, then yeah go ahead and send them a gift for Christmas. They shouldn't be "dropped" because of their parents.
@Linkat,
yeh, nver start crating a generational feud -like atmosphere in your family. Remember William Anderson Hatfield,"Devil Anse" and his way of settling family disputes. Simple misunderstandings and family beliefs can displace everything tht even created your family.
Ive seen the most piou families , on an inividual basis , turn into Th Hatfields and McCoys where each blame the others as being "Godless"
@Linkat,
Ok. You talked me into it. I live in the city of NY. They live in the suburbs about 3 hours away. I don't drive neither does my brother make an effort to pick me up for the holidays. I will put a check in the mail this week.
@farmerman,
The family fued started in 2009. I live in the city of NY. They live in the suburbs about 3 hours away. I don't drive neither does my brother make an effort to pick me up for the holidays. I will put a check in the mail this week. I have tons of bills. So, $60 ($20 for each child) will have to do.
@nycdad,
Why wait for xmas (A culturally obligatorised occasion) To give a damn? If you truly care...?
Do it NOW, TODAY - Fk cultural obligations - You may well be dead by tomorrow!
Have a Great Day.
@mark noble,
I really don't give a rat's booty about them. Why? They don't care about me. Easy, right?
@nycdad,
Then why comply to a 'customary' ritual?
And - mutual-causality (As you perceive - You Are perceived).
I just spend my days projecting ease and equilibrium onto all I encounter - Always appreciating others' potential constraints.
I deliver positivity and acceptance - I receive the same, in return.
It's a brilliant existence - If you choose it to be.
Have an awesome Day.
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