Am I just getting fobbed off . Please help!!!!!!

My bf is not really interested in sex and I have finally sat him down and chatted to him but I'm still unsure. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. We are both 30 and I'm his first sexual partner. He hasen't really been interested in sex (we've only had it about 4 times) and I felt rejected so I sat him down for a chat. He told me he really isn't bothered about sex much and prefers kisses and cuddles so I said okay. He also said he is scared of not pleasing me. He said he likes it when we play with eachother rather than actually sex. I have just found out he wanks to porn 3-4 times per week (we don't live together). Also he wanks when he thinks I'm asleep next to him. I don't know how to feel about this?? I'm a bit shocked. Am I being unreasonable for being a bit surprised and deflated. I just feel like giving in but should I be more patient . He treats me really well and is a lovely guy but I dunno if he's just nervous about not pleasing me or if he really isn't into sex and would rather just wank and is just fobbing me off

Please help !!!!!!!!