Discomfort?

Well it depends on where you are “exploring”

Talk to your doctors (mostly hers, but don't put it all on her). Ask about post-menopausal vaginal dryness and what you can do.

It wasn't where you might be thinking. To be clear, we both enjoy each other's bodies. None of that butt stuff. She loves to please me. Mostly orally. She is very enthusiastic about pleasing me. She knows all tricks. This may sound selfish but believe me she insists. Thats why when I hear her make a comment like that it concernes me. I don't want to ever impose on her. I might have just asked her what she meant but the moment passed.

I am not putting anything on her. I am more concerned about what I may be doing that is causing this reaction. If I were causing pain she would let me know. She has boundaries. We do not even come close to hard sex. I was a widower and I'm her 3rd. She has opened my eyes that having sex is actually fun! I just don't want to think she's not telling me something to not ruin it for me. My first wife of 40 years didn't enjoy sex. Made me think it was dirty. Was a terrible tease. She is none of those things. We are truly blessed to have found each other.
She has all the experience. I am still working through being shy talking about sex with her. Sometimes I tend to overthink things. This might be one of those.

It has nothing to do with hard sex.

It has to do with age. She may feel more comfortable using lube. And, yes, you can use it for vaginal sex.

Thanks for your reply!

Why did you assume I was referring to anal sex?
You said she “ flinched” when touched. I simply asked where you touched her to get that reaction.

No reason. Just a wrong assumption. She's had that reaction (slight flinch) from a touch anywhere on her body. 90% of the time there's no "flinch". When it happens it just bothers me. I'm just always considerate of her. We've both had a lifetime of bad marriages. Maybe we're both just trying too hard not to cause any more pain in the others life. We are a team in everything we do. Literally. A great team.
Our first sexual encounters were not hesitant, at least on her part. Our first night on the couch watching a movie was preceeded with a blow job. It has been two to three times a week ever since. She told me early on that there was not much that would embarras her. I on the other hand was not much experienced and afraid I would embarrass her. I've been slowly trying different approaches. All the time afraid of turning g her off. I'm beginning to think this is more me than her. Maybe she's just ticklish? She did have a bad case of shingles years ago before we met. If you know anything about shingles it can have lasting effects on different parts of your body. Some of the effects can be itching or tingling. See where I'm going with this?

BTW, thanks for your replys!