Reply
Tue 31 Aug, 2021 03:54 pm
I need help. All my life I’ve been a creative person and in grade 7 I realized I didn’t want to go to university, I knew I wanted to be an actress. The problem? My parents couldn’t afford acting classes and didn’t take me seriously. A few years later I decided I wanted to become a lawyer since I realized that I’m good at school. I work hard in school and have done well, so I thought I would use this to my advantage since my first choice (acting) didn’t work. The plan was to go to business school for my undergraduate degree and then pursue business law.
I graduated this year and I’m enrolled in a business program that starts on Tuesday. I have never felt this unprepared and anxious to start school. I don’t want to go to school, the thought of being stuck in a degree that I no longer wants haunts me. I’ve had so many breakdowns over this, I wish I had taken a year off to start with but since my school never discussed the option, I ignored it. Now, I’m realizing I would prefer a year off and I don’t know if I should try to defer my offer for next year, drop out, or just go through with it. I value education as a first generation student who’s parents never had the chance to go to school, but I also value my desires.
Note: My mom fully supports me no matter what, my dad on the other hand will probably be upset that I’m throwing away a chance at education.
The problems
- I applied for financial assistance and they’re going to give me the money in a week, I need to let them know about what I wanna do before they try to throw me into debt.
- If I take a year off it’s possible that my financial assistance will put me on probation, it won’t affect me unless I go to school next year (drop out- won’t affect, defer- maybe)
- If I try to defer, my financial assistance will be received and I think the only thing I have to do is return it. But the problem is that my school has the right to deny me a deferral, so I am not guaranteed time off. I could be stuck at school anyway.
- If I drop out, it’ll solve all my financial problems and it’ll make it easier. The problem is that I will have to reapply to my program if I decide I want to go back and that process is complicated.
The options (please note that I’ve submitted for some talent agents and I will continue to do so. I haven’t heard back yet but if I do, I’ll take their contract in a heartbeat)
- Go to school and try to manage both instead of fully devoting myself to one. If I continue school I will not have time to work a job and pay for acting classes, I will only be able to take small roles and hope that’s enough to build my resume.
- Defer my offer and hope that I can make enough progress in this year to either drop out completely. If I take a full year off I will work a job and possibly pay for classes or I will take some small roles in student films and try to build my resume. Of course if I hear back from one of the agents I’d take their contract and just jump into that.
- Or drop out and do the same as this option^ except there’s no time limit.
Dilemma
The thing is, I can try to do both school and acting but if I am ever presented with a choice between the two, I’ll go with acting. Meaning if I get a big job two years down the line, I’ll be halfway done my degree but I would still jump for the acting opportunity. I don’t want to waste my time and make myself anxious and stressed over school if I don’t need or want it, but then again I don’t know what the future holds and I don’t know when I will be given a breakthrough.
I love business and I think law is so interesting, but I can’t imagine myself working in a cubicle for the next sixty years or my life, I think I’d go crazy after two years. I know acting is my passion. I’m aware that acting is not just sunshine and rainbows, I know it’s not the most stable job, I know there’s annoying people in the industry, but it’s really the only place I see myself having fun while working.
I have also realized that I don’t know myself, I’ve only ever identified as a student, my whole life has been about school. I’ve never had the chance to soul search or learn anything about myself. I want some time to enjoy life without constantly doing school.
PLEASE help me out, give any insight you can, I really need help and my mind has been a mess recently. I can’t seem to figure out what to do.
Thank you to anyone who leaves me any insight and thank you to anyone who read this long story. I appreciate it.
@susu22,
There are more than 2 professions in the universe.
About the only way you could have chosen something more polar opposite to your creative passions would have been deciding to become an actuary.
Some truths, in no particular order.
- You don't have to go to business school.
- You can have a stable career of some sort just with your bachelor's. Lots of people do.
- Or you can go to a different type of college.
- You also don't have to go to business school to get into law school. My undergraduate degree is in philosophy and, yeah, I went to law school and I practiced, too.
- Find out from the school if you can take a year off. And also find out what the consequences would be if you just said **** it and didn't start at all, and asked for your deposit back. The consequences might not be as dire as you fear.
- In particular, if the business school has a relationship with a university (or is part of one), then the words coming out of your mouth should be, "I would like to transfer to a liberal arts program."
- Listen to your gut. If you're this upset already, then going to this school is probably not going to cure that.
- Talk to your doctor. Ask him or her about panic attacks. Because from here (IANAD), it sounds like you're getting them. They suck. And you don't have to hurtle yourself in the direction of more of them. That way lies madness, and stress can eventually kill you. Don't make your life harder than it has to be.
- Also recognize that getting into acting, the big stuff that we all know about, is a crap shoot. Thousands of other people want to do the exact same thing. Even following that particular style of bliss might not take you very far.
- So embrace it, and find other ways to satisfy your love of acting. Consider summer stock, or a job where you need to do public speaking, or the like.
- Talk to a career counselor, either at school or just pay someone who does that, and explore your options. I guarantee you that there are thousands of job types out there. Don't make your road this narrow.
The world is nowhere near as black and white binary as you may be feeling it is right now.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace