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Mon 30 Aug, 2021 01:35 pm
I know I should let him be, I know I should not even be thinking about doing anything, but…
After 5 years I met him again. Somehow that day I just felt, I knew I would. As I learned he’s been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have never really been together, I was too young and confused, he was serious and I could not deal with it. It was quite a hectic relationship, almost getting together, sthen saying goodbye, and it went on and on and on. Gosh I had my first kiss with him. It was over because of me but after all these years I learned he was really a man anyone could hope for. Sacrificing, caring, loving, all fun. After 5 years of experiences, boys, tears, laughs, nights with friends I just realized he was that special one all along… Karma showed me how I treated him by giving me the opportunity to meet a real douchebag who did the same to me as I did to him that time. It was not deliberate, I was just not even aware what I was doing, or even feeling, I was 17. Not that young, but still—After things ended with karma-sent guy he just appeared after 5 years. I know he felt something, too. He kept avoiding me the whole night. We met with our friends and he was there with his gf too. Our mutual friends said that I would always be a weak spot for him that is why he tried to avoid me the whole night. When he thought we left and turned around and caught a glimpse of me, I could see he was almost shocked, then turned back and chugged the wine all at once. I know it’s selfish but I just liked that moment, it gave me hope… After they left for a few blocks we went after them, bc we live the same direction, but he hasn’t even hugged his gf all the way. Next they I wrote him. In my first sentence I asked him no to misunderstand my gesture of texting him. I asked for his forgiveness for my foolish behavior and that I hope there will not be any awkward moments in the future like that night was. Also I wrote him I hope he is doing well and that may the future bring anything, I am ready for it in proper timing and asked him to take care. I don’t know what I was hoping but he has not replied. That was 1 week ago. And I really do not know what’s next. Honestly I don’t even remember our last conversation…I do not want to be a relationship wrecker but at least one decent conversation…Is it too much to hope for or want? What do you guys thing? Thx for reading.
@gwensm87,
It's been half a decade. He's not texting you back because he probably realizes he could be tempted to cheat on his girlfriend with you.
And don't say that's not what you want. You want him to come back, sweep you off your feet, etc. - whether he's attached to someone else or not.
You can lie to us all you like, but please don't lie to yourself.
And take a good, hard look at yourself. You aren't who you were 5 years ago. Neither am I. Neither is he. Neither is anyone.
Nostalgia + other experiences being bad = idolizing what you had, and looking at it with rose-colored glasses.
Maybe consider some introspection, on why you've been attracted to men who've treated you badly. And why you'd rather give up on finding someone else, someone potentially better, for the dubious promise of what you may or may not have had years ago. He is the path of least resistance.
Leave him alone.
My thought is that Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
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