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Rich guy poor girl.

 
 
eve2021
 
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 03:27 pm
Okay so I work a minimum wage job. Live with parents. Basic life. I'm 23. Then I met this guy in person other day. He's 35. Both adults. Right. Ok so he told me he can provide me anything and everything I need in life. I can move in with him and be happy. Be his wife, start a family. Sounds great like it's all I'm looking for right. Anyways so here the thing. He asks me if I want all this and if I do. He wants me to drop my life and go immediately live with him in other words he wants to rush the process of getting to know eachother and jump to the opportunity to have me go back to his home and live with him. I have a very concern mother now cause I also try to discuss this to her and she thinks it's not good cause even tho me and him are both FULLY vaccinated she is worried I could possibly get the delta Virus and die. I honestly think it's highly unlikely. And I did my research as well. I myself don't like the idea of rushing things and all he says is he doesn't want to wait and find someone else and that he wants my to be his and ect right away. . But I try to ask him if he can be patient and wait till I can make arrangements and get my mother in board with the idea of me living the nest. Aka home. Because I know I'm an adult I can do as I please but not having her blessing be a really big dwell on my mind. So if anyone can give me advice ? It be appreciated!
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 240 • Replies: 8
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oralloy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 04:10 pm
If he is unreasonable enough to not be willing to wait until you are ready, that seems like a huge red flag.

I'd insist on going your own speed. If the relationship does not survive that, then you probably dodged a bullet.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 04:14 pm
@eve2021,
Is this guy dying? Moving to Antarctica in a week? About to turn into a lizard?

If the answer to all three of these questions is no, then him wanting to rush rush rush everything should be an ENORMOUS red flag to you.

Why would he be rushing things with someone he just met? Have you been chatting online for years? I get the feeling the answer to that is no. So he doesn't know you, and you don't know him.

Here are a few possible reasons (apart from turning into a lizard, see above) why he would rush you like this:
  1. He's nowhere near as wealthy as he claims and wants to snag you before you find out
  2. He won't get an allowance or an inheritance unless he marries -- and... it doesn't matter to him who it is, long as she's got a pulse
  3. Same as #2 but he needs to have a kid
  4. He's a control freak who will make your life miserable
  5. Same as #4 but he's an abuser
  6. He wants to drag you to a country or into a religion/cult and you will have a devil (pun intended) of a time getting out of it
In short, none of these are terribly nice reasons. And even if he likes you and thinks there's going to be another lockdown because of the 'Rona, we all know those don't go on forever.

Life ain't the movies. While on very rare occasions, people who barely know each other can have happy and fulfilling lives together, your chances of winning the lottery are far better.

Ask him why he's in such a hot hurry. Find out what will happen if you don't hurry. And if the answer is that he'll drop you like a rock, then thank your lucky stars that you dodged a bullet and move on with your life.
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 04:16 pm
@eve2021,
First, you are 23 and assuming you arent already dying even if you get delta you wont even know it. You have a better chance of getting hit by lightning. Live life and enjoy. As far as moving in with him, NO WAY!! Its way too soon to even think about it. This guy is bad news.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 04:24 pm
I don't know why you're even considering this. You met him 'the other day'?? Hello? And he wants marriage already? He doesn't even know who you are and vice versa.

What's your rush? You're only 23. It's not like the 1800s where you're considered 'on the shelf' (and therefore unmarriageable) if you haven't married so far.

What and why are you really asking?
oralloy
 
  0  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 05:53 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:
Here are a few possible reasons (apart from turning into a lizard, see above) why he would rush you like this:
  1. He's nowhere near as wealthy as he claims and wants to snag you before you find out
  2. He won't get an allowance or an inheritance unless he marries -- and... it doesn't matter to him who it is, long as she's got a pulse
  3. Same as #2 but he needs to have a kid
  4. He's a control freak who will make your life miserable
  5. Same as #4 but he's an abuser
  6. He wants to drag you to a country or into a religion/cult and you will have a devil (pun intended) of a time getting out of it
In short, none of these are terribly nice reasons.

Personally if I were faced with this sort of situation, I could work with #2 or #3 if I had definite knowledge that they were the real reason, and if I did get along well with the other person and was attracted to them.

But if that is the real reason for the rush that the OP faces, the guy should be able and willing to provide actual verifiable evidence that this is the situation.

I suspect that in this case, #4 and #5 are the real reasons behind the demand to rush.
0 Replies
 
VABGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 07:58 pm
@Mame,
I would fear for her safety.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 08:39 am
@eve2021,
As a mom, I would be more worried that this guy would like full control over you, rather than this virus. The virus thought never even captured my mind.

I think you two should date and get to know one another. Jumping in to marry someone you do not know is a bit crazy...just for money?

You work and earn minimum wage - I would think unless you are in a room all by yourself, that the chances of you getting this other virus are significantly higher than being with the same guy that is vaccinated.

If he really wants to be with you - he would respect you two waiting a bit.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 09:03 am
@Linkat,
I think she's unbalanced for even considering this.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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