Developed a stutter!

Hi materialgirl,

I had a terrible stutter in my late teens and early twenties. I would hang up on one word for 10-15 seconds and would have to substitute one word for another (this is a common "trick" in people who stutter).

This is a very frustrating and difficult problem to deal with. Even worse was dealing with the reactions of other people. As they got uncomfortable, they would react which would make me feel uncomfortable. It was horrible.

The problem was the cycle. The more I worried about it, the more stress I had the more people reacted and the worse the stuttering got.

The way I got over this was to develop a healthy apathy. I had to not care if I stuttered or not.

One thing I started doing was to "practice stuttering". I would find the most attractive woman I could find, walk up to her (for me a stressful situation) and talk to her -- stuttering on purpose.

This did a few things. First of all, it made a joke out of it. I was making a personal statement that I just didn't give a darn. Secondly it put me in control. I didn't feel like I had an uncontrollable problem. I could be happy with how I spoke, and people could accept it or not.

This helped the problem a lot. I still "catch" on words from time to time. I don't know why this is and I can't explain it, but it happens.

But it is now a little quirk, I never "stutter" for more than a fraction of a second and it is not at all the source of frustration and embarassment that it was before.

I don't know if this helps, I hope it does.

It does help, tho I feel a bit of a faud, my little stutter sounds nothing in comparison to yours.

Its not happened recently but I just thought about it so i thought id ask.
It makes me worry about important situations like job interviews(which I hate anyway)if I stutter then Im gona look like a plank and will they want to employ someone that does that.

Im ok with the actual stutter in general but I go bright red as I try to cover it up, but I feel some people give me odd looks which in itself doesnt help.

Thanks for your advice..

I think a stutter is but a sputter in the mental handwork of the mind.Something is wrong and must be fixed somewhere. Where are you depressed with life and start there would be my humble advice.

My grandfather is starting to stutter more and more and whenever I am around him I seem to pick up on it and start to stutter myself... also when I am trying to remember a story for some reason I get nervous when I am telling it and I stutter alot and my friends usually just say "tu-tu-today junior" (from big daddy I think) and then they laugh but they don't judge my in a bad way..... but the older I have been getting the more I have be getting 'caught on words'

Hope for some weird reason my little paragraph of nothing helps you!! (LoL)

I have one as well, but you'd never know it most of the time because I am pretty careful about it. Only people who are around me a lot ever notice. I also took a lot of public speaking classed and did drama in high school and college which helped me a lot, because you learn how to cope with the nervousness. Just hang in there, slow down when you talk and no one will notice. You probably notice it a whole lot more than others.

I think that sometimes the brain works faster than your mouth can go and that's why you stutter.

I must respond to this.

This is absolutely the wrong response. Thinking this way will lead to a lot of stress and worsen the problem.

Research shows that stuttering has a genetic component. It is complex because it intereacts with social skills. I still stutter (a bit) and lead a perfectly happy, productive life and I don't let it interfere with my life (actually many people don't even notice it now, but occasionally someone will note that I sometimes "catch" on words). It is made worse by social stress, but it certainly is not connected to depression.

The secret is learning to not let it (or anything else) get in the way of happiness.

A big part of mental health is learning to accept yourself. We all have quirks. Stuttering is sometimes a difficult problem, not because it is sign of anything else, but but becuase it is very public struggle and other people don't know how to deal with it.

Saying that someone has "a problem that must be fixed" is not a very good way to help, either with social stress or the frustration that accompanies sttutering.

Yep, that all helped.

I have been depressed in the past, still isnt fab but Im better than I was so maybe it was being unhappy as I havnt noticed a stutter recently.

I am very shy and get very self conscious so I suppose when Im talking to 1 or more people, even my friends, I get nervous and stutter.

ebrown-didnt see your post before.
im sure its more of a shy in social occasions thing, not depression or being unhappy with life.
I hate public speaking(never had to do it seriously and dont plan to)I even dont like my friends to pay me complete attention.

material girl, Do you have Social Anxiety or Social Phobia? I've got the same thing. I didn't really notice it before because I didn't talk to people for long periods of time but I've noticed that I stutter a lot.

I was asked to do a presentation infront of my class but I said I wanted to do it infront of only one person. I still managed to stutter because even though I planned out my whole speech I got stuck on my words and I just could not get them out. I have a forum link thats like a support group but I am not sure I can send it to you over here. Its a site explaining what social anxiety is.

I read the link.My goodness, that was scarily accurate!!

I love parties, social gatherings tho I do tend to keep quiet and only speak once in a while, if I think its 'safe'.
I hate arriving/leaving as everybody will look to see who has come in or when I say goodbye to people converstaions stop and people turn to look.I tend to sneak off now just saying goodbye to a couple of pals which makes me feel like Im being very rude to my other friends.
An explanation may be-I used to have a friend who, EVERYTIME I said i was leaving he used to bellow out 'NO MG,ARE YOU GOING? DONT GO,STAY, HAVE A DRINK' everybody stopped and stared at me.I HATED it.A while later he said he stopped doing it because it didnt work, he said it in a way he was blaming me for being anti-social.He said it like it was a bad thing that he'd stopped!!!I was so relieved, but he managed to make me feel like its my fault which is why I sneak out now.
Probably part of that judgement theory.

I have been humiliated by 'friends' in the past which still seems to effect me now.

I could never answer the phone(tho Im better now as my job requires answering the phone).
I hate answering the door.

And I suppose i hate interviews as it says about the being judged by an authority figure.

Ooh, its horrid isnt it.Whats strange is that sometimes Im fine but I hate it when I get self conscious.
I hope you are getting the help you need.

material girl, it's very accurate isn't it? Did you even know that these feelings you have been getting has a name? I mean, I thought I was some sort of weirdo until I found information on social anxiety. Orignally the doctor had told me it was anxiety but then I came to find out why it was happening to me.

Like you I had trouble arriving and leaving social situations. I was (and sometimes still am) the first to arrive and the last to leave. This might sound stupid but I'd turn up almost an hour early to my lessons so I don't have to face people upon arrival. And I always leave last because I get this weird feeling they might start talking about me after I left lol. I'm crazy.

Funny, I was in a meeting today and I stumbled over a word or two because I was speaking and challenging someone and I think I was so self-aware I got self conscious. I saw them react to my stumbling and panicked just a smidgeon, thinking I looked like a fool, and then I calmed, swallowed, and continued. I've never had a stutter per se, but I can fumble when the spotlight is on me and I'm feeling a tad uncomfortable. It does have something to do with being extremely painfully shy when I was much younger, something I have gotten over by becoming a jokester or loud (to compensate?) so that I can frighten people a little into not making fun of me.

If I were to hear someone stumble occasionally it makes them more human to me, a little more likeable.

Totally agree,suppose its better to make fun of ourselves if we stumble over a word or two.We are only human.

I dont mind doing it infront of close pals, I think they know what Im like and just except Im shy and this is just a part of it.