Being called a pet name on your job!

Thanks Neptune, it is very condescending to call someone you don't know sweetie, baby, or honey. And you would be surprised how many patients call us for assistance thinking they know more about our jobs and company than we do. So they feel it's normal to call you whatever they want. They feel the customer is always right. Definitely not the case in every situation. It is just a simple matter of correcting them. A person doesn't know they are doing wrong until you tell them. I'm not saying I'm trying to change the world but when they get off the phone with me maybe they'll remember it the next time they call someone sweetie or baby. And like I said, they would never call their pastor or doctor a cutesy name . . . . and they know them. So why is it fine to call someone you don't know sweetie or baby?

I get what you're saying to an extent. If I tell you my name is Thomas then don't take it upon yourself to shorten it to Tom. Sally does not equate Sal. Richard does not equal Dick. I still don't know how you get Dick from Richard. Case in point. I just got a call from a woman and she told me that her name was Sandra. I did not address her as Sandy. Sir or ma'am work beautifully when you can't remember someone's name. Bud, Bubba, Chief, Pal, and Dude are not. And especially sweetie, honey, hun, or baby. Those names need to be reserved to someone you know on a personal or intimate level. And even if I'm having a bad day that still doesn't justify me calling someone by anything other than their name.

But do you know they are doing this to be cutesy and not respectful. I know several of my southern workers say honey all the time - it is just the way they talk - I know too part of this is what area of the south you are in.

Some people are just not as up tight and formal and they look at it as to be more friendly; not disrespectful.

But I cannot read their mind - and also cannot hear their tone - I have heard honey used in that friendly kind way (even in a professional environment) and then I have heard that condescending tone.

I still stick by if you prefer to be more formal and they are just a more friendly informal - just let them know - hey sorry I am an uptight asshole so call me Tom -- just kidding --- but simply say hey sorry I really prefer to be called by my first name Tom. Simple but showing you appreciate their friendliness just not in this atmosphere.

I guess I am just the type that does not take offense - and I work in a highly regulated business environment. To me life is too short to worry about someone calling me honey --- unless they use that tone that means anything but.

I do agree that you should be able to be called with whatever you are comfortable with - and some that will be jerks any way --- but you know what the people will be jerks any way.

And I would not take offense if you asked me to call you by your first name. I'd just comply - simple.

Maybe it is because she feels as a customer service type position your job is to make the customer happy - many people feel this way - don't envy your job as I would not want to deal with the public - bad enough having private clients.

Again this is your opinion. It is not condescending to many people just the way the talk, been brought up to to be friendly.

No more than saying ma'am from a Texan is calling you an old lady. Just a different perspective.

In general people just need to chill and be open ---

But just like the woman who I said ma'am to didn't like me calling her that, how is it any different from someone calling me a cutesy name I would prefer not to be called. She was well within her rights based on the region she was raised and her upbringing just like I am within mine.

Okay, I think we've discussed this more than thoroughly. You don't like it. You got some support. You also got other perspectives.

Now it's up to you to deal with it however you want.

My exact point - neither way is wrong - but what you deem as cutesy may be friendly, endearing, etc. not condescending.

That was the exact point I was making - different perspectives and each should respect the other and call them as they are comfortable.

If it makes you feel better call me Ma'am even though here in New England we might think you are calling us an old lady. It doesn't bother me.

You're right.

If you are saying, “ This is Tom from XYZ Patient Services” then the last thing heard is the company name. That may be the reason why they have forgotten your name. Try turning it around and saying the company name first and then your name.

"Thank you for calling XYZ Company. My name is. . . How may I help you?"

Just keep saying my name is ... after everything you say like a robot. I think those that are slow will get the hint eventually.

1. Since I cannot actually hear the tone of your voice, I can't say if your tone is positive or negative.

2. Without actually hearing the tone of your voice, there is no way for me to know if you are being rude or not.

3. The point I am making is that it's not always about what you say or the words you use.

4. Sometimes it's more about the tone of how you use your words.

5. Sometimes the words might be spoken in a condescending tone.

6. Sometimes the words might be spoken in a tone of sarcasm.

7. Sometimes the words might be spoken in some other negative or rude tone.

Also, sometimes a person's body language can show rudeness and negativity.