Guilty Trips & Paranoia

Quick note here I didn't snatch this from a Lifetime movie nor is it a veiled fantasy of some sort as that I've never went for that sort of thing. Public record, news blurbs, etc. So that out of the way.
My wife of 3 years and I were on assignment on the west coast where it was very hot. The unit we were staying in was quite nice but the AC went down late at night and I decided to crack some windows and run out to buy a cheap window fan.
2:30am we are woken by 3 masked visitors standing over our bed shining flashlights in our eyes and telling us to stay calm. I complied but my wife went into full out panic mode screaming, flailing, kicking and generally escalating the situation. O actually contemplated helping them subdue her just t deescalate.
Finally, we realized it was 2 men are a woman. We were told it was just a robbery and that if we cooperated they would be gone soon. The 2 men began taking inventory of the place while the woman emptied out a bag of rope, tape and zip ties. She must have been a girl scout because 45 minutes later we were inesapably bound and gagged. True to the word, the intruder's soon left, along with anything of value. We spent the next 8 hours tied up while we watched television, conversed as best as we could with sponges stuffed in our mouths and took naps.
The next morning her sister came by and found us in the embarrassing position and called authorities. In the end we recovered everything, they were apprehended and nobody was hurt.
However, over the course of the last 3 years my wife has taken every opportunity to blame me for not having locked the windows or fought like she did. Honestly I was over it an hour after they left but she is still in therapy once a week and obsessed with home security and such.
Between the guilt trips and the paranoia I don't think I can stay in this marriage much longer. We tried meeting her counselor together but she seemed to take my wife's side or the person who is paying her...
Anybody been through something like this or have any thoughts. Greatly appreciate it.