Wed 7 Apr, 2021 01:27 am
Hi - the only thing that’s changed in our life is the fact I am out of work due to the pandemic, he is working and we are mortgage free, we are not struggling and I am actively seeking work and looking after the house so there’s no need for him to help with housework - when I do get work I will want him to do his fair share so he may get a shock. I am a musician also trying to get forward on that, he this isn’t new, he’s always known this for the 21 years we have been married. I’ve noted change in him considerably since last October, he insists there’s nothing wrong and doesn’t want us to part. However he has told my mum I’m a better person when I’m working and has also commented to me I have nothing to talk about Bar the housework!, so I’m a nutshell, he isn’t prepared to let me discuss my music elements and or photography, so he only wants to talk about work, he kinda makes me feel I shouldn't talk about the music or photography as maybe it’s wrong of me to pursue this. I for one won’t talk about people as I’m not like that so therefore not gonna start chatting away about Joe bloggs at work!, I hate people talking or moaning about others, which he does all the time about his work colleagues yet won’t tell the, the issue, I don’t see the point in that, oh and if I do talk about something different he just interrupts with ‘have you found a job yet’, we don’t have children and have been married 21 years in August, I’m 53, 54 in December, and he is 50 in May, he sleeps in the spare room which we redecorated recently and insists it’s no other reason than to sleep well, I sacrificed a lot for this marriage as I wanted to emigrate, his family are lovely and we all get along great but I think he is unhealthily close to them as prefers to socialise with them only, with or without me, he isn’t bothered, lockdown didn’t stop that as they were still calling round even when we were supposed to ot have visitors, my parents and I abided by the rules but his didn’t xx
Maybe have this chat with him? You sound unsure and unhappy so talking it over with him, asking some questions, would really be the best bet.