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Wed 7 Apr, 2021 01:27 am
Hi - the only thing that’s changed in our life is the fact I am out of work due to the pandemic, he is working and we are mortgage free, we are not struggling and I am actively seeking work and looking after the house so there’s no need for him to help with housework - when I do get work I will want him to do his fair share so he may get a shock. I am a musician also trying to get forward on that, he this isn’t new, he’s always known this for the 21 years we have been married. I’ve noted change in him considerably since last October, he insists there’s nothing wrong and doesn’t want us to part. However he has told my mum I’m a better person when I’m working and has also commented to me I have nothing to talk about Bar the housework!, so I’m a nutshell, he isn’t prepared to let me discuss my music elements and or photography, so he only wants to talk about work, he kinda makes me feel I shouldn't talk about the music or photography as maybe it’s wrong of me to pursue this. I for one won’t talk about people as I’m not like that so therefore not gonna start chatting away about Joe bloggs at work!, I hate people talking or moaning about others, which he does all the time about his work colleagues yet won’t tell the, the issue, I don’t see the point in that, oh and if I do talk about something different he just interrupts with ‘have you found a job yet’, we don’t have children and have been married 21 years in August, I’m 53, 54 in December, and he is 50 in May, he sleeps in the spare room which we redecorated recently and insists it’s no other reason than to sleep well, I sacrificed a lot for this marriage as I wanted to emigrate, his family are lovely and we all get along great but I think he is unhealthily close to them as prefers to socialise with them only, with or without me, he isn’t bothered, lockdown didn’t stop that as they were still calling round even when we were supposed to ot have visitors, my parents and I abided by the rules but his didn’t xx
@Dee53,
Maybe have this chat with him? You sound unsure and unhappy so talking it over with him, asking some questions, would really be the best bet.
@Mame,
Hi, thank you, I did have a chat with him and he listened, to be fair seemed to understand but it hasn’t made any difference, in fact other things are popping up. I’m almost getting an impression he wants to make me unhappy, he is certainly making me afraid to say anything without treading on egg shells. Here’s an example; I told him today about a stranger standing outside our house taking a video recording of our house!, he seemed to think I was being petty by wondering why someone would want to do that, but instead of just saying what he said he rared up in to a sudden rage, he’s never done that before, he’s gotten irritable and thrown things but not like this. I have to say he has changed considerably, and this temper tantrum thing has gotten worse over a couple of years. He says not, but I don’t think he wants to be with me, I’ve given him heaps of chances to end the marriage but he won’t, yet still behaves like this. He used to make comments about my weight until I told him to stop (I’m only a bit overweight, Dr has said I am perfectly fine and healthy), it’s like he doesn’t like me for me anymore and wants to change me, he’s also screen shot young women in bikinis and topless, leaving it so I can see, what he forgets is these 20 year old size 6 bimbo’s will also get to 50. I sometimes think we are all better off single xx
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