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Wed 20 Jan, 2021 02:43 am
Hi all, I'll try keep this brief.
Me (21F) and this girl (23F) have kinda had an unspoken attraction towards each other for a while now. First time we met she told me she liked me, but I wasn't really ready for anything and it was quite unexpected.
Since then we've seen each other every now and then in group settings but nothing has happened. However, in November we were at a party (I live in a COVID free country thank god), and she finally made a move on me and I showed her that I was attracted to her too, but she was too drunk and I was sober so nothing happened. Afterwards I messaged her to ask her what she was thinking about everything and we both said we really liked each other but not only do we live in different cities now, but also she said she was in a weird place mentally atm and not ready for anything serious. I understood and agreed, and we both said we would see each other when we were next in the same city. We talked over a few days after that conversation but we haven't spoken in about a month.
I'm not sure what to do now. I would love to talk to her and I still have feelings for her, but I'm not sure if I should also just give her space so she can figure her stuff out. We will potentially be in the same city at the end of Feb/beginning of March but only if I message her to ask her plans probably. I don't want to be overbearing, but I still like her, and I don't know what she's thinking about everything.
Hi! How've you been? I'm going to be in the same city as you on __(fill in date range here)__. Would you like to get together for coffee at ___(insert location here)___ and catch up? Let me know.
Cheers,
__(insert your real name here)__
^there's your text script. Send it today and put it out of your mind until you get an answer or the time comes and goes and you don't get an answer.
In life, you're never going to get what you want without asking. It's been long enough for her to figure it out. You are nowhere near jumping the gun or being a pest.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
@LucyMac,
Do message her and ask for coffee. Take her with you then ask her plans. Maybe she will change her mind after talking to you. Or, maybe you will change your mind. No decision should be made without talking.
Just be sure that she is not in a “weird place mentally” before you expend any energy to develop any kind of a relationship. She has told you that she doesn’t want to start up anything and you need to believe her at her own word. Heed her warning. You are only heading for a heartache if you do.
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