Anyone ever had a Worse Boxing Night than I did.

After a year to forget for us all, things were picking up for me mlved to a new town, new job, got a nice little flat and some new mates and life is going pretty good. After Christmas Day festivities all the food and alcohol consumed made me feel delicate on Boxing Day but my friends said they were going out and said they were meeting up with one of our friends brother and his friends one of which Darren is supposed to like me and I secretly like him so I was persuaded to go. Got all dressed up, Black Mini Skirt, New Black Tights and a Pink Top I bought for the holidays thought I might be in for a good night later. As we got to the first pub the girls ordered drinks and the pub provided us with a complimentary curry and rice and then the boys turned up I felt fine but a couple of drinks in I started getting pains so ran to the toilets but they were crowded so i waited 10 mins then one of our group came in and started talking to me saying Darren really likes me, so as we are gossiping and getting ourselves dolled up the feeling was wearing off me and I didnt want to empty my bowels infront of her and the many in there. Next pub we went having a good time but then the pain started again and people kept asking if I was fine which was makimg it worse i nipped to the ladies there but the toilets were rancid, urine all over the floors, excrement on the walls so thought ill have to go home or go somewhere else. After the lads left to go back to a house party an hour of persuading the girls to go somewhere else(and before I ended up filling my nappy) they agreed to finish in another pub for the last hour before going back to her brothers house party. One problem the pub wouldnt let us in without paying a stupid amount of money, I was pleading to pay, the girls refused and told the door staff where to go. At this point I just wanted to go home to drop my guts but girls wanted to phone a cab saying we are going back the party, I explained I wasnt well and said I needed to go home, they said to save me walking I could get in the cab with them and get dropped off as it would only be 10 mins so I thought why not makes sense. 10 mins passes, then 20, then 40 mins still no cab, lads are phoning the girls asking where they are, Im in absolute agony clenching and scared to even laugh or cough and the cab company were lying saying the cab had been so after an argument with the cab company the girls say forget it lets walk, at this point the pain is so bad I can barely walk and thinking its unlikely I can hold it in until I get to mine and will have to go in the woods. We finally get to their brothers house I am trying to get away from them but the girls are trying to get me to come in and I couldnt go in because I would have destroyed the toilet and wouldnt have been able to look them in the eye again. The girls just kept blabbing on and wouldnt let me get away oblivious to the fact im holding on for dear life and on the verge of crapping my pants in full view of them the woods was 5 mins away but i knew I had barely 5 seconds I just spouted out 'Sorry I dont feel well' and barely managed to walk, the minute I turned the street corner I could just hear a loud wet fart noise which probably could be heared 10 streets away so I put my hand on my backside to stop it but then followed about 2 minutes of loud farting followed by wet splattering which i felt extremely uncomfortable, I was panicking incase the girls came round the corner to check or if anyone walked past or came out of their house to the sight of me fouling myself at 10.30 in the night, i was holding my bum to stop it going down my leg but it was just going up my back. After 2 of the most repulsive minutes ever it stopped and there was just me stood there shocked with all poo stuck to my backside and a smell of bad eggs, diarrhoea and decay. After staggering off to the woods with every step an effort trying to keep everything intact i seen everyone leaving the pub nearby so I had to hide in the woods for about half an hour panicking incase anyone seen me all I could think about was getting home. After the coast cleared I had to stagger step by step walking like I had a hot poker stick up my arse and planning each street making sure it was empty incase anyone seen me, couldnt even get a cab as it stunk and there was no way they would let me in. After 30 mins of tip toeing and hiding from the light with liquid diarrhoea starting to seep out I was near home and panicking incase anyone was hanging out outside my flat(people living there sometimes drink and smoke there) round the corner of the flats, I seen a gang of about 20 chavvy girls walking towards where I was and knew they would have smelt me if they walked past me, panic overtook me i thought ill have to run. I put my hand on my arse and tried to run into a side street just I could hardly run as it was running out of my pants and i hid in a pensioners flats with the gang all laughing out loud i could just hear 'DID YOU SEE HER THEN' 'HAA THAT GIRL HAS **** HER KNICKERS' they were all laughing at me when I was hiding terrified in the bushes I didnt care they were laughing at me im used to it its their loss. When the coast was clear I struggled to my flat thankfully no one was there, key in door, up the lift checked myself in the mirror knew it werent pretty IT WASNT. Got into my flat, straight in the bathroom, clothes in a bag, near vomiting cleaning myself up. Ran the bath, first one turned brown, could still smell poo so got another bath which thankfully then I was clean. Messaged the girls back who thankfully didnt know. Has anyone had a worse boxing night than I have ill wait.