22m having performance issues in a weird situation

Hi, so I’m in a weird situation right now. I’m a 22-year-old black male I was on Grindr and I was honestly just looking for friends because I’ve been so lonely and since I’m not really out I don’t have many friends in real life, and because of covid and I haven’t been able to make some new friends at school. I met these 2 amazing white dudes both 26 on Grindr that were into a lot of the same things I’m into i.e computers, into pc gaming anime pretty we’re all nerds lol. I found both of them very attractive and they said the feeling was mutual. So at first, they asked if I was interested in getting to know them for a 3-way relationship they were looking for a new 3rd partner. I told them I wasn’t into that kind of thing and we ended just becoming friends and we started all having sex together every now and then or sometimes I’ll have sex with one of them at a time. They’re pretty chill and open. I mainly top on occasion I will bottom and 1 of the guys is also and top and his fiance is a bottom. I’ve never really been in this kind of situation before but even before then I do tend to have performance issues like I’ll get hard in the beginning but soon as well start doing stuff I will lose my erection and it will never come back. They ended just having sex together and told me it wasn’t a problem we can try again another time.

Whenever I’m with one of them I can hold an erection easier but still I have problems keeping it. I found that when I’m not emotionally attached to someone I have no problem keeping an erection, however when I’m really attracted to someone and I want to have sex with them after a while I will get comfortable but I will never be able to come. A guy that I used to be with I was 21 he was 20 at the time we used to have sex all the time even though I never came I told him not to worry about me and I’m okay if only he gets off. I’m not sure why this happens to me I was really into this guy but he was caught up in the past and I found out he was only really into sex it took me about 8 months to get over him and it really hurt a lot I haven’t been with many guys romantically so this was the first time I’m experiencing this. This goes back to the main story of the 2 guys I’m with right now I really like having sex with both of them and I want to be more comfortable having a 3 some. I consider them really good friends, we all clicked so well we smoke weed together watch anime and if we get horny we mess around, or if one of them has to go to bed early for work I’ll just have sex with one of them in the living room which they are completely cool with. I’ve never really been a social person because of my environment and not really having a support system at home because my parents are very homophobic so I’m really to myself. My friends now are kind of like me one of them hasn’t talked to his family in years but the bottom guy still talks to his uncles and aunts because they are accepting of him however they are very outgoing guys and have so much confidence and they’re so smart I’ve never been able to talk to any around my age like I can talk to these guys they can hold a conversation effortlessly they don’t care about materialistic stuff like my generation cares about so much its kind of intimidating for me they have 0 problems being super kinky or getting off and I find it hot. I feel like I’m starting to like both of them a lot and it's confusing me because I would like to find a partner of my own but not in a 3way relationship and like I said before when I begin to have a feeling for someone I start having troubles keeping an erection and I can never cum unless I masturbate by myself.

These guys are slowly helping me break out of my shell but I just feel like because of my past I don’t think I can keep up with these guys. They make me feel so many different emotions that I’m not used to and I don’t want to be needy I tend to go through depression stages but these 2 make me feel alive for the first time in a long time. I plan on coming out in a few years but if I do I literally won’t have any family left 0. So any advice on this whole mess would be greatly appreciated.