I think Hurricane Denis might be gay.

So he's down to a category one, maybe even just a tropical storm, but he's about thirty minutes south of me right now. The power may go out as I write this. That's neither here nor there. See, I think Hurricane Denis might be gay.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I first became suspicious when I heard that the hurricane's name was Denis. Does this mean everyone named Denis is gay? Don't be silly. But let's face it, there was no question last September that Hurricane IVAN was going to smash your face with a pool cue, do some crank, and take your girlfriend home.

Some might argue that Denis wasn't that curious about the Florida peninsula. My counterargument is this: he plundered Alabama's Gulf Shores which, as everybody knows, is the a-hole of the US.

Oh! I hear him coming.