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Tue 13 Oct, 2020 09:18 am
Ok hello, You can call me Nie, I identified as a female so my pronouns are her/she. So I’m a highschool, and all my life I thought I was straight, and I had crushes on boys, was attracted to males and my first love was a guy (it’s was puppy love and I got rejected before I confessed my feelings). But I’ve been on social media and made me question my sexuality,and I’m confused why. Like I never had a crush on a girl before so why do I keep looking at the word bisexuality. I mean I can know when a girl is pretty, I mean I’m not blind, but I never actually felt attracted to a girl before and still haven’t. But then the weird part is like I had dream about having sex with a girl so does that mean I’m sexually attracted to girls. Like it’s all confusing and I literally have no idea what the **** I’m doing.
@Nie,
Gender and sexuality are two separate things. Your gender is how you see yourself and you identify as a woman.
It has nothing to do with who you find attractive which is your sexuality.
Dreams mean nothing, what is important is how you feel. You don’t have to give yourself a label either, just see how things go.
@Nie,
What Izzy wrote makes sense. Understanding the distinct difference between sexuality and gender identity.
One of the difficulties in this area is talking about things in the abstract. When you are in a situation that is real world and trying to decide about dating a particular individual, that’s when things matter most. You might have various romantic or sexual fantasies in your head but it might be too indicative of your actual sexual preference. Call it a curiosity.
You need more dating experience, perhaps even with both genders. You’re not served well by placing a label on yourself. So don’t do that. Be happy and non judgmental. In a sense, lighten up with what the “shape” is and who/whom you want to date.
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:
...” You might have various romantic or sexual fantasies in your head but it might NOT be too indicative of your actual sexual preference. Call it a curiosity.
NOTE: note that NOT is a correction.
@Ragman,
Thank for answering, but it’s like I keep thinking bisexuality or wonder how it feels to be bisexual, like I used to feel so comfortable with the word heterosexual because that’s what I thought I identified as but now it’s like it’s a question mark. I mean now I know that dreams don’t really mean anything but I once about having sex with my female best friend, it’s was just a thought and then I was like, why would I even think about that. And it’s just what now because I would not hate being bisexual buts it’s scary because it’s new, I guess.
@Nie,
Embrace being you. Do not get caught up in labels, they become restrictive and can build anxiety and frustration which might lead to you not seeing the person of your dreams right near you.
If you desire a romantic relationship with a guy, fine. With a female, that's fine too. If you have interest in both, that is great as well.
You're relatively young still and there's plenty of room to grow and develop into being you. Enjoy it all!
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