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interracial marriage advice

 
 
luke87
 
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2020 01:22 pm
Hi, I’m in an interracial marriage and I need some advice about a situation. I’m white my wife is Pacific islander. We have been together since 2012 and married since 2016. Since Trump became president, I noticed a lot of changes in her. She would say remarks on how white people are racist and how the Europeans colonization destroyed other countries including hers. Since the death of George Floyd it has become worse. she now spends her time looking up police brutality videos and white people saying racist things to minorities. Every single day she has to remind me how racist white people are and how they destroyed other countries. This is getting to the point where I feel extremely angry and I feel like she is sounded racist towards white people. I told her the words she says makes me feel ashamed to be white. Her response is that I need to stop being ignorant of the truth. Is this how a interracial marriage is? I’m I in the wrong to feel this angry? I told her how I feel but Its like she doesn’t want to validate my feelings and I’m not allowed to feel this way. I tried talking to her but she just doesn’t understand it. I told her to write in a journal or to politicians about the issue but she just takes it out on me. I feel like I’m her punching bag. What can I do for her to tone down what she says?
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RABEL222
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2020 01:32 pm
@luke87,
Pay attention to how you and the people around her treat her. Might be informative.
luke87
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2020 01:55 pm
@RABEL222,
I do. I treat her with respect and I understand where she is coming from. None of my family and friends have done anything racist to her or treated her with disrespect. They like her and have done thing to hurt her feelings. I told her I got a job interview and instead of her congratulating me she says ohh you just got it because of white privilege. When we went for a walk I asked her she can please stop looking at all the negative news and enjoy this walk and she just said stop being a "karen". What I'm I supposed to do in those situations?
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2020 02:53 pm
@luke87,
No one here can answer that.

You need to understand how deeply she feels and support her. How you do exactly that comes directly from her. So, ask what can you do to help. Is it activism or just listening or doing whatever she needs from you right now..
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