'Real Love'

Call a therapist and get a telehealth appointment. Life doesn't have to be this way

Why do you think so? Have you spoken to practicing neurophysiologists to draw such conclusions? We are just starting to understand how our brain actually works. How did electrical signals turn into our thoughts and feelings? Do you know the central dogma of neurology and the meaning of the word dogma? You can start with "Brain, Mind, and Behavior" by Floyd E. Bloom, Charles A. Nelson, Arlyne Lazerson to embark on an answer search path.

I saw a friend risk his life for me, I know that my parents value me more than themselves. And I found out that love it's smth inside me, I just feel it or not. I wish you to feel this more often!

It’s the parent’s role to love, nurture, educate, and prepare the child to leave the nest.

It sounds like you feel abandoned now, when in reality, you must learn how to fly by yourself.

Of course.



It's pretty settled science that there are 3 basic parts of the brain, each built on top of the other, and each one more advanced than the other. But, our brains are wired in such a way that our more primitive instincts are allowed to supersede our higher and more rational thought functions.

The most primitive part of the brain is the lizard brain/hindbrain. This controls bodily functions like heart beat, breathing, etc. And also baser instincts like survival, reproduction, defecation, etc. This part of the brain is connected directly to our brain stem and the functions are automated and completely out of our control.

The next part, the limbic system or mammalian brain allows for things like emotions (e.i. 'love') and judging whether something is "good" or "bad". It also allows us to record memories and experience pleasure. This is where "gut feelings" come from.

The most advanced part, the neo cortex regulates things like speaking, reading, writing, abstract thought, conscious control of our motor functions, cognition and higher thought. This is literally the only thing that really separates humans from other mammals.



That's because of the gut feeling/emotional instinct in your parents limbic system overriding higher rationality. They can't really rationalize why they feel this way, they just 'feel' it. This also works in tandem with the lizard brain's reproductive instincts. Your parents, and to a larger extent everyone's parents have a vested interest in your survival because it's a way of their genes passing on into the future. In a roundabout way, it's a means of cheating death themselves, because a part of them gets to live on into another generation.



This is your limbic system fooling you. It's a 'gut feeling' that you can't rationalize with your higher thought processes. This is an illusion. 'Love' is an illusion.

I've actually tried this. I could tell the therapist wasn't listening to what I was actually talking about, and instead just going off a mental script.

He also recommended mind altering medication ... after only getting to know me for a whopping two whole sessions. No good.

There were also other factors I'm not sure if I feel comfortable talking about ...the mental health industry is quite a joke actually. It's a very real thing that people who actually need the help fall through the cracks. Most of the people working in this field just view it as a 'job'. They don't actually care.

... or, you could try another therapist and not lump an entire industry into one bucket

I would like to speak to a therapist who is my same gender. I don't think it's too much to ask or to expect.

When I asked for a therapist of my same gender, the person in the scheduling department seemed shocked that I would ask such a thing.

I can't imagine the reaction would be the same if I was the other gender, and I know I would have no problem being accommodated.

Turns out that the therapist I met with is the only male therapist my insurance company will cover. And I live in a very large city. I investigated this further through counselling options available through my job, and even free options available through other means. I found one other male therapist ...over 100 miles away, with no phone sessions available as an option.



It's a stereotype for a good reason.

There are many people with much more serious problems than I who are not able to find mental health resources because of the bureaucracy involved. Veterans are a good example. Or for a fictional example that mirrors real life individuals who could be susceptible to violence, look at the movie 'Joker'.