help with wife cheating please

so it all started


my head is all wrapped up and i don’t have anyone to talk to. no family or friends.

we met online in 2014. talked a month. flew across 5 states to get her. brought her home. lived happy for 6 years. had two kids. moved across 6 states to get away from family drama so we can just have our own family together.

i started to get pushed away slowly around october ‘19. stopped getting lunch made for me for work. cute sweet things were no more. no love notes. less and less cuddles. kisses. hugs. no more replies when i text good morning and i love you. started there. thought it was temporary. then it started to be where i couldn’t see you naked or take any photos of you. still thought it was temporary.

we moved in november. being pushed away more and more. slowly where i wouldn’t be acknowledged when i left or not wanting me home. somewhere between the new apartment and feb 8th when i found out. he came here and it happened in our own place.

you stopped wearing your wedding ring sometime at the start of the year or right before.

the fact of exactly when bothers me. before thanksgiving or christmas? when is killing me.

the phone was always hidden. upside down. turned. and on feb 8th i saw the phone by itself. password was still our date. saw more than i wanted. saw pics. videos. text. things that were discussed. things i can’t get out of my head to this day. you have him in your phone as daddy with the purple devil icon. you used to call me daddy. how can you even call him that. clearly don’t have kids with him.

as far as you say you’ve met once. been together once. and hasn’t been back.

we’ve talked. it was that i didn’t help enough with the kids since i worked. i can’t get out the real reason. also that i took too many photos. but when the clothes changed to be more provocative. short shorts. crop tops. no bra. etc. of course being my wife i’d take pics. better than porn right?

sent him photos stolen from my phone that i took of her. things they discussed are killing me. talk about how they want it. dog leash collar. butt stuff. how tight she is. etc. kinky stuff we used to do.

we were supposed to be forever.

after we talked. things started to get better two weeks. i thought by the way she was acting. she wasn’t talking to him anymore. things started to be more normal. then a comment was made how you still talk to him. i realized it was over over. even cuddled around the 20th. then you found out i had screen shots from your phone because i changed my password. so i showed i deleted it all because you are more important. things got a little better. but now nothing.

but we have two kids. you have no plans to leave because she hates change. doesn’t want to start over. loves me but not in love. she loves him. knows being with him is unrealistic and prob not going to happen because of the kids.

she talked about a buddy we have who lives separated with his wife for their kids for the last decade or more. so i guess that’s the plan.

since the 8th. i help cook dinner. change diapers. more around the house. etc.

hearing all songs on the radio. seeing my finger without a ring on it.

can’t sleep. can’t relax. can’t concentrate at work. been getting headaches that won’t go away. i get tiny stress bumps on my hands. so hard to fall asleep. even when i do i have nightmares about this. last nightmare was about the world ended and can’t find you because you left me.

i talk about things with you. you said shush. you’re still here. and not going anywhere. but the fact i don’t have your love. can’t touch you. kiss you. tell you how much i love you. kills me.

i know he’s getting my good morning i love you and i miss you texts. and i’m the one that’s done everything for you. sold our home. moved us across the country where you always wanted to live.

the daily things are weird. it sucks. i love being able to still wake up next to you. but being so far away in bed. cold. i miss your feet under my legs or on top of me sleeping.

still cook and eat together but with no love sucks. not holding hands in the car or anything sucks. not getting a hug and smile when i get home is awful.

you feel bad for how you hurt me.

but i don’t know how to live “happy” if she is going to stay and live our lives together while she’s in love with someone else. doesn’t seem fair to her. i want her to be happy. and obviously i’m happy that she isn’t leaving because i still love her as crazy as i am.

i know i was lied to badly. so betrayed. she treats me cold sometimes when i’m depressed. it’s hard to put a smile on when i can’t even glance at how beautiful she is throughout the day.

is it possible to live together forever for the kids?

is it possible i will outlive her love for him since he’s new and a fun idea? maybe she will get bored or he will since he will never be able to grasp her daily? the fact i’m her kids father and we have so much history together. she said she doesn’t want to start over. so is there a chance we can once again be happy down the road if i quit being depressed with the situation?